我和同事刚才吃了黄莲。
好撑啊！！！
10/26/2010
10/06/2010
9/06/2010
BOOM! My Birthday Surprise!
Aww....
Happy advanced 21st birthday to me!!!
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Thank you so much guys!!!
I know that must burnt a big hole in everyone's pocket, really appreciate that very much!
Imma blackberry user nao.
OMG. =D
9/01/2010
The desire to CHANGE.
My 21st birthday is reaching soon...
exactly one week's time from now.
omg.
what should i do b4 i turned 21 years old!!!
should i like go do anything memorable while im still young? something that is only reasonable and acceptable to do at my age before i get any older??!
wth la, im such a boring person all my life, really cant think of anything meaningful i can do b4 i become a real adult!
life of an working adult is really kind of monotonous.
but its good to learn and see new stuff for fresh ppl like me though.
im realising that im beginning to walk lesser than before now... DAMN ANNOYING. =.=
really need to add some spice into my life.
if i were to carry on to live my life like this, i tink i'll just die from the accumulation of fats flowing in my body~
laziness performing at its best. woohoo! =.=
THERE IS A NEED TO CHANGE.
MUAHAHAHAHA...
now that im reaching 21 yrs old soon, i really feel that it is time for me to start picking up some new skills and hobbies now... i find its always good to start things at a younger age... lesser burdens, lesser commitment, more energy and softer skin!
the feeling of living your youthful life to its fullest.
Wow.
There are so many things that i want to learn!
been thinking of learning tennis for quite some time...
been thinking about learning guitar for the longest time also...
been considering to try take up some clay pottery classes for awhile already...
dying to learn how to bake till i already forgot when...
been wanting to do this and that...etc FOR SO LONG. yet nothing is done lor. =(
been consoling myself that things will get better if i found a job.
well, and since im working now already, better for me to work harder and try achieve some small little goals or hopes i have for myself while working hard towards my bigger goal along the way!
guess life will be much better and interesting this way before i save enough for my studies. =)
ONE DAY, i shall...
1) Play the tennis like Maria Sharapova.
*throw my clutched left fist in the air and shout "yeah" in victory*
2) Strum the guiter like Carlos Santana, with both my eyes CLOSED.
3) Make clay pottery... er like... like a pro.
4) Bake a cake that tastes so good that everyone who have taken the first bite will teared and kneel down in front of me begging for more.
Woah, its so easy to say out these than to get it done.
Haiz.
FOCUS ON YOUR WORK, XIAN! FOCUS!
exactly one week's time from now.
omg.
what should i do b4 i turned 21 years old!!!
should i like go do anything memorable while im still young? something that is only reasonable and acceptable to do at my age before i get any older??!
wth la, im such a boring person all my life, really cant think of anything meaningful i can do b4 i become a real adult!
life of an working adult is really kind of monotonous.
but its good to learn and see new stuff for fresh ppl like me though.
im realising that im beginning to walk lesser than before now... DAMN ANNOYING. =.=
really need to add some spice into my life.
if i were to carry on to live my life like this, i tink i'll just die from the accumulation of fats flowing in my body~
laziness performing at its best. woohoo! =.=
THERE IS A NEED TO CHANGE.
MUAHAHAHAHA...
now that im reaching 21 yrs old soon, i really feel that it is time for me to start picking up some new skills and hobbies now... i find its always good to start things at a younger age... lesser burdens, lesser commitment, more energy and softer skin!
the feeling of living your youthful life to its fullest.
Wow.
There are so many things that i want to learn!
been thinking of learning tennis for quite some time...
been thinking about learning guitar for the longest time also...
been considering to try take up some clay pottery classes for awhile already...
dying to learn how to bake till i already forgot when...
been wanting to do this and that...etc FOR SO LONG. yet nothing is done lor. =(
been consoling myself that things will get better if i found a job.
well, and since im working now already, better for me to work harder and try achieve some small little goals or hopes i have for myself while working hard towards my bigger goal along the way!
guess life will be much better and interesting this way before i save enough for my studies. =)
ONE DAY, i shall...
1) Play the tennis like Maria Sharapova.
*throw my clutched left fist in the air and shout "yeah" in victory*
2) Strum the guiter like Carlos Santana, with both my eyes CLOSED.
3) Make clay pottery... er like... like a pro.
4) Bake a cake that tastes so good that everyone who have taken the first bite will teared and kneel down in front of me begging for more.
Woah, its so easy to say out these than to get it done.
Haiz.
FOCUS ON YOUR WORK, XIAN! FOCUS!
7/18/2010
No Mood. No Moon.
well, worklife's been dead boring...
im still at the learning process and making mistakes stage though...
man, i seriously dont't meant to commit these mistakes at times, but i just realised the more i pressurise myself to produce perfect work, the more i screw things up.
hais... =.=
people around have been really nice and patience wif me though... im just worried that one day they may just break down and scream their lungs off at me... lol... sigh...
well im still on probation, and they still have the chance to consider me before the dateline...
i dunno...
a part of me is really sincere and determind to give my best and learn frm my mistakes, yet another part of me really do not wish to become a redundant rookie, causing inconvenience to the ppl around...
its really demoralising at times.... that im starting to qns myself if im suitable for this company or even this industry... but i got a feeling that i'll get better and better as time goes by...
arugh, this feeling sucks!
being a rookie sometimes sucks like hell... cant really tell them the truth without sounding offensive, or else my words may turn to excuses... seriously, who would believe wad a rookie have said? double sian...
i can fully understand why some of the highly paid professionals would bear to give up their job and throw in some impressive amount of money into doing something they really like...
Makes me want to reconsider about my plan and see if that is practical enough to work out...
less mistakes xian! less mistakes!
and tomorrow's a monday... DAMN!
im still at the learning process and making mistakes stage though...
man, i seriously dont't meant to commit these mistakes at times, but i just realised the more i pressurise myself to produce perfect work, the more i screw things up.
hais... =.=
people around have been really nice and patience wif me though... im just worried that one day they may just break down and scream their lungs off at me... lol... sigh...
well im still on probation, and they still have the chance to consider me before the dateline...
i dunno...
a part of me is really sincere and determind to give my best and learn frm my mistakes, yet another part of me really do not wish to become a redundant rookie, causing inconvenience to the ppl around...
its really demoralising at times.... that im starting to qns myself if im suitable for this company or even this industry... but i got a feeling that i'll get better and better as time goes by...
arugh, this feeling sucks!
being a rookie sometimes sucks like hell... cant really tell them the truth without sounding offensive, or else my words may turn to excuses... seriously, who would believe wad a rookie have said? double sian...
i can fully understand why some of the highly paid professionals would bear to give up their job and throw in some impressive amount of money into doing something they really like...
Makes me want to reconsider about my plan and see if that is practical enough to work out...
less mistakes xian! less mistakes!
and tomorrow's a monday... DAMN!
6/12/2010
For Neda.
Was really surprised that i actually missed this news last year. Astonished. Unbelievably ridiculous. Traumatised. Heart-broken. Thats how i felt after watching this clip.
Am totally speechless on how the Iran government actually runs the nation. Can't believe on how dangerous a beauty can bring to the women in Iraq.
Ive always been wondering if the ladies in Iraq have ever dreamt of wearing pretty clothes and showing their pretty faces on the street without getting reprimanded or even get jailed by the government, which unfortunately, run by the men. I have a clearer picture now. And am TOTALLY DISGUSTED by the brutal act of those who called themselves men in the country.
Neda is alive, the government is dead.
5/27/2010
5/26/2010
2nd Attempt.
My second attempt on okonomoyaki was slightly better than the first attempt...
though there is a little chao ta la, but overall it tasted much better than ytd's one!
the layers are more define now, im able to taste the crunchiness of the veggies better!
Im sastified! WOOHOO! =D
the one on the right side tasted better than the one on the left.
cos the one on the left was a bit chao ta, i tot by squeesing more okonomiyaki sauce wld help to cover the chao da taste. mei xiang dao the sauce yue bang yue mang! =.=
a bit too salty for me...
but NEVER MIND! at least putting the control of the amount of sauce aside, my okonomiyaki have improved! *applause applause*
NEXT ATTEMPT! NEXT ATTEMPT! NEXT ATTEMPT!
Side By Side.
My first attempt on Okonomiyaki! =D
passable only though...
i felt that there are so much to improve on...
the timing wasnt right, i was too anxious luh..
thought the pancake is ready when both the sides are cooked.
its only when i taste the first bite then i realised i forgot to make sure that the middle have to be cooked too.
heng the taste wasnt too flour-y... haha!
too much cabbage to cover that taste i guess...
luckily i like my okonomiyaki 'cabbagey' and 'corny'! =)
Control the proportion!
Control the timing!
Improve on the presentation! its ugly!
Gonna make a better one next time round!
*************************************************************************
Guk. says:
anyway
thx leh
u motivated me
wowwwwww
BiG BiG hEaD~ I LOVE M&M! =) says:
LOL
no problem
Guk. says:
ok
BiG BiG hEaD~ I LOVE M&M! =) says:
I tink im one step closer to being a prison officer now.
Guk. says: hahaha!
Guk. says: i m a criminal?!!!
HAHAHA!
5/17/2010
5/06/2010
我的朋友。
Woohoo!
i feel great today after an interview for no good reason and i totally have no clue why...
I JUST FEEL KINDA HAPPY TODAY.
thats all... wahahaha...
been having these good old-fashioned cakes frm this really old school confectionary shop nearby my hse since i was young. used to love the colourful designs they have. but its been a long long time since i last taste it again. suddenly miss the feeling this afternoon, so i bought some home and held a reunion session wif one of them inside my mouth... yum yum yum... muahaha...
well, some of my friends who've asked me will know im back to job hunting again...
its with deep thoughts and serious consideration for me to make that decision.
am really grateful for lujun's msges and hongyou's call that night... i mean, there are times when i get really lost and indecisive about what decisions to make for myself... im considered really lucky to have friends around to hear me out, giving me constructive advice...
even though i have an answer in mind most of the time, sometimes i just need that someone who know me enough to use their words to hit me and make me realise what i want. and i actually feel relieved after the decision is being made. i need job sastifaction... and some stuffs that is hard to express. but i know i will know it when i find it.
im glad.
cos i know ive made the right decision for myself.
i have a clearer idea about what is suitable for me and what's not.
thus, no regrets.
WOOHOO! =D
and....
thank you hong u for being there, though you may not know me VERY VERY well (cos i dun know myself VERY VERY well either), u've been one of the few friends who knows what i want most of the time. U always know i know what is good for me and what i want when i dint realise that i know. well... not everytime, but most of the time la.
SISTER I LOVE YOU! T.T
you rock! you know it. =D
thank you lujun for making me remember how much i love my previous job. thank you for encouraging me to get a job that im happy with. but its difficult to get a job that i like la, since things always dint want to go the way i wanted. =.=
LOL, anyway, i believe that even though i cant get a job that i love, i can still make the best out of whatever im having too! well, not literally whatever, but the other kind of whatever... ya know? wahahaha....
oh and of cos, not forgetting CHUA GEOK TING.
MY. BEST. ADVISOR. EVER.
whenever i got really lost and doubtful, she will be one of the first few friends i call for help.
she never fails to give me constructive comments and amazingly, her advice always suits me the most. i always agree on the things she agrees with most of the time. we share about the same idea and meaning of friendship... if im not wrg. dunno why.
its either capricorn + virgo= perfect combo. or maybe great minds think alike. HAHAHAHAHAHA!
this gal is witty,practical, logical yet understanding and possesses the most ridiculous and craziest comments/ideas at the same time.
she is funny. she is thoughtful. she is sensible. she is sweet. she is cheery-though-emo-at-times. she is efficient. she is the potential rich tai-tai. she is the curly-hair gal....
SHE IS MINE. hahahahahahaha... =D
SIMPLY LOVE HER. OMG.
HELLO AH TING CAN U HEAR ME???
I LOVE U DEEP DEEP K! =)
im feeling more and more guilty now as i type...
there are so many friends around me who care for me and yet there is nothing much i can do for them in return...
sometimes i really wonder whats wrong wif them to treat an ordinary friend like me so well.
they have given me things that are more than what i can give them. never did they ask for anything in return. and i really appreciate it beri beri much. *sniffs*
love lia, cos she is always there to help me out whenever she can. never forget how she helped me with my horrible math back in secondary school days and during my re-taking of 'o' level math. love the way she tries hard to make the steps easier for me to understand better with those stupid algebra questions. hahaha! =D
she is always so true to all the people around. omg, why am i so lucky to have her as my friend.
Love you deep deep too lia!
love szewei, cos though she is blunt wif her words at times but i always know she did it because she cares. =) love her jokes cos she never tries too hard as she is already a joke herself. hahahaha... i always use my blog as an alternative to express my thoughts and feelings usually when im emo and tend to forget wad i wrote after that. never would i expect anyone to be reading it too, but this gal will always be the first one to get to me and ask me if im ok and make sure that im alright. *sniffs* thank you gal for your encouragement all these while!
love huizhen, simply cos i like her and all my friends likes her. hahaha... honestly i dont get to interact wif her as much as lia and sw, but i always feel good talking to her cos she is always kind wif her words. its funny how i could still rmb how i met her during sec 1 choir practise session, i gave her a a nickname called 扫把头, cos her hair was DAMN THICK AND DRY back then. LOL! was really touched when she offered to help me fork out birthday present for jackson in advance that night, (and szewei offered to do the same thing too! 这真是太感动了！姐妹情深！！！*applause*)... though i turned down their offer cos i really dun wish to take advantage of their kindness and it makes no sense too, deep inside i appreciate their thoughts very much.
thank you gal! hope ur kindness would 感动天，感动地 so as to 保佑 you for getting good grades for ur exams!
love judy, cos she always listens to me sincerely whenever i talk ... i mean, she really listens.
knowing that im super broke at that time, she immediately help me find kids who needs a tutor for chinese. fast and furious. hahaha... looking back at those yearsss i had spent wif her, and seeing her now, she have definitely changed. more sensible and thoughtful. and ahem, vain. heehee.. but its a good change! =D
whoa, i just realised that we are entering into the 10th year of friendship this year! have to inform chiewrong, melissa and karling someday and gather around liao! =)
i love my kelly too! =) i always thought i could never find a friend like lia and all till i met her.
those days when i was struggling between work and school at the same time. i could have died of fatigue without her!
she have a tiny body, but a big heart. and... a loud voice too. LOL.
always makes me feel touched and guilty whenever she says ‘娴，快点去做工！这里交给我们！’or ‘娴！小心工作，记得吃饭！’or ‘懿娴，复习得怎样？会吗？？不会要讲ah! 不要跟我客气hor!’ or ‘娴！来！我帮你！’or ‘娴！。。。’etc... what have i done to get myself such a wonderful friend?? helped me in class when i was in the same sem wif her... continue to help me when i stayed back for one sem... continue to care for me after we graduate... this gal have done so much for me but im ashamed to say, i have nothing much to repay her... BUT, i will be there for her whenever she needs me to! stay strong gal! u will get better! looking forward to meet up wif u and the SIM gang again! =)
love dillon and jasper too woohoo! without their understanding, i wouldnt have be able to pass my semesters and come so far... dillon, the most talented guy i ever seen yet. jasper, the easy-going one. these 2 didis, together wif kelly, created an enjoyable memories for me in my days in SIM. i always tot rich kids are either spoilt and hard to please or difficult to communicate with, they have both changed my perspective and im glad and proud to have them as my friend too! =)
tsk tsk tsk, i tink ive used up all my luck in life to get all these superb friends liao. shit, im goin to be damn unlucky for the rest of my whole life! but neh mind, in exchange wif good friends like them its worth it though! wahaha...
ive never been a person who owns lots of friends since young.
there was a time, when i was still a kid in primary school, i used to envy those ppl around me who have loads of friends around them wherever they go. slowly as i grow older and met chiew rong in primary 5, i begin to realised that its the quality of friends that counts, quantity doesnt matter anymore. i started to appreciate the presence of my lovely friends more and more. till now, i am very happy with what i have. there are just a few of them, but each of them is a rare find that cannot be replaced by anybody.
and definitely, im proud of them too! =)
4/19/2010
Start.
after all of the feelings of uncertain...
after all of the several disappointments...
after all of the days and nights sitting in front of my lappy...
after all of the encouragements given by my family and friends around...
after all of the crazy amount of resume sent...
after all of the good and bad or even weird interviews experiences...
im kind of hired. =)
and tomorrow will be my first day of work.
i tot i'll be super happy, but surprisingly no.
in fact, im worried and really lost.
its a position i dint expect to get.
totally have no idea on wad to do and not confident in that.
well, there's always a first time...
lets hope that my first day of work will be smooth and sound.
may the colleagues over there be forgiving with me...
xian, jia you.
be tough, u'll gonna learn something new.
tml will be a new start.
im hoping for the best.
=)
after all of the several disappointments...
after all of the days and nights sitting in front of my lappy...
after all of the encouragements given by my family and friends around...
after all of the crazy amount of resume sent...
after all of the good and bad or even weird interviews experiences...
im kind of hired. =)
and tomorrow will be my first day of work.
i tot i'll be super happy, but surprisingly no.
in fact, im worried and really lost.
its a position i dint expect to get.
totally have no idea on wad to do and not confident in that.
well, there's always a first time...
lets hope that my first day of work will be smooth and sound.
may the colleagues over there be forgiving with me...
xian, jia you.
be tough, u'll gonna learn something new.
tml will be a new start.
im hoping for the best.
=)
3/31/2010
Just Pray.
yesterday's interview was not bad...
area of the office was small, but the staff there seems to be pretty friendly...
love the vibrant colour of their cubicle...
that lady who interviewed me mentioned something which made me feel really good...
wahahaha...
well, not gonna pin on too much hope on this though...
been to sick and tired of the repetitive instant high and low mood already...
im just going to stay positive but not hopeful.
area of the office was small, but the staff there seems to be pretty friendly...
love the vibrant colour of their cubicle...
that lady who interviewed me mentioned something which made me feel really good...
wahahaha...
well, not gonna pin on too much hope on this though...
been to sick and tired of the repetitive instant high and low mood already...
im just going to stay positive but not hopeful.
3/28/2010
Faking Miss Happy.
OH HAPPY 3 YRS 3 MTHS ANNIVERSARY!
OH I HAD THE MOST SUMPTUOUS MEAL FOR DINNER TONIGHT!
OH ITS MY FAVOURITE CURRY CHICKEN COOKED BY MY MAMA!
HMM...
AND OH, IM GONNA BE GOING FOR AN INTERVIEW TOMORROW MORNING FOR A POSITION WHICH I DON'T REALLY LIKE!BUT HECK CARE LA, AS IF THEY DESPERATELY NEED A FRESH DIP HOLDER LIKE ME!
AIYAYA, BE HAPPY! AT LEAST SOMEONE IS GIVING YOU A CHANCE TO SHOW THEM WHAT YOU GOT!
OH YA! I OUGHT TO BE HAPPY! HAHAHAHA! =D
damn. =.=
OH I HAD THE MOST SUMPTUOUS MEAL FOR DINNER TONIGHT!
OH ITS MY FAVOURITE CURRY CHICKEN COOKED BY MY MAMA!
HMM...
AND OH, IM GONNA BE GOING FOR AN INTERVIEW TOMORROW MORNING FOR A POSITION WHICH I DON'T REALLY LIKE!BUT HECK CARE LA, AS IF THEY DESPERATELY NEED A FRESH DIP HOLDER LIKE ME!
AIYAYA, BE HAPPY! AT LEAST SOMEONE IS GIVING YOU A CHANCE TO SHOW THEM WHAT YOU GOT!
OH YA! I OUGHT TO BE HAPPY! HAHAHAHA! =D
damn. =.=
3/26/2010
Not Calling Back.
Mood has been like a roller coaster lately...
first, calls start to fill in whenever i start losing hope...
then my heart was filled with so much faith and hope after each call and interview...
as days goes by, level of confidence and faith starts to drop again...
den other calls came in...
cycle goes on and on...
i was pretty happy to be called back for a 2nd interview initially...
i waited and waited...
ending each day with no reply is really scary and disappointing...
receiving calls frm numbers that i do not wish to see is annoying as well...
"well, they need some time to do the selection afterall... give them some time!"
thats how i force myself to stay positive at the end of each day...
its friday already.
that "see you!" is obviously coming out of courtesy, no hidden meaning.
they arent gonna call back.
thats for sure now.
perhaps i shld have given a better answer...
perhaps i shld gave them my super wide smile throughout that interview...
perhaps i shld have requested to arrange for the interview at another day cos come on, its a friday evening!
perhaps... perhaps... perhaps...
everything just went so perfectly right...
i feel so comfortable when i first step in there...
from their cleaner, to security guard, to the 3 interviewers and then the assistant director...
they were all so nice and sweet...
i totally feel right in there...
they offer everything i have always been looking for... literally everything.
i shldnt have pin on so much hope on it...
seriously, heart sinks to my belly already... =.=
career fair today wasnt as good as i expected.
same old thing with what i usually found on the web.
no wonder i feel an energy around me making me feel so reluctant to go the day before... sigh...
i am tired.
really tired le...
i really have no idea when can i ever get a job...
is finding a job that can let me stay for long in order to enable me to save up for my uni fees with the time limit set by myself that difficult?
well, seeing the rate that im moving at... i guess, it must be a definite yes.
hais...
oh crap, just by tracking back a few of my recent blog entries, i found out that i've been so emo and vexed all these while... its so annoying to see that... but i find it a superb place to vent out my frustrations though...
I have like... no tomorrow?
first, calls start to fill in whenever i start losing hope...
then my heart was filled with so much faith and hope after each call and interview...
as days goes by, level of confidence and faith starts to drop again...
den other calls came in...
cycle goes on and on...
i was pretty happy to be called back for a 2nd interview initially...
i waited and waited...
ending each day with no reply is really scary and disappointing...
receiving calls frm numbers that i do not wish to see is annoying as well...
"well, they need some time to do the selection afterall... give them some time!"
thats how i force myself to stay positive at the end of each day...
its friday already.
that "see you!" is obviously coming out of courtesy, no hidden meaning.
they arent gonna call back.
thats for sure now.
perhaps i shld have given a better answer...
perhaps i shld gave them my super wide smile throughout that interview...
perhaps i shld have requested to arrange for the interview at another day cos come on, its a friday evening!
perhaps... perhaps... perhaps...
everything just went so perfectly right...
i feel so comfortable when i first step in there...
from their cleaner, to security guard, to the 3 interviewers and then the assistant director...
they were all so nice and sweet...
i totally feel right in there...
they offer everything i have always been looking for... literally everything.
i shldnt have pin on so much hope on it...
seriously, heart sinks to my belly already... =.=
career fair today wasnt as good as i expected.
same old thing with what i usually found on the web.
no wonder i feel an energy around me making me feel so reluctant to go the day before... sigh...
i am tired.
really tired le...
i really have no idea when can i ever get a job...
is finding a job that can let me stay for long in order to enable me to save up for my uni fees with the time limit set by myself that difficult?
well, seeing the rate that im moving at... i guess, it must be a definite yes.
hais...
oh crap, just by tracking back a few of my recent blog entries, i found out that i've been so emo and vexed all these while... its so annoying to see that... but i find it a superb place to vent out my frustrations though...
I have like... no tomorrow?
3/12/2010
窝囊废
Today's mood is totally spoilt by this morning's interview...
Super embarrassing to think back on the reaction that i have when the lady called...
SIAN JI BUA.
confidence is important xian!!!
never felt so low and discouraged after an interview before. i seriously tot im kinda gaining the momentum and shld be steady enough to get into any interview already. just as when i tot im much more prepared and less nervous to attend to interview of all sorts...
boom! the god of experience throw me 2 old bird aunties to wake me up. =.=
ok, so there are interviewers like this.
slam me with all their doubtfulness and the 'this-girl-doesn't-know-how-much-she-actually-worth' look... arugh!
k la, i know that im inexperience... however, i still cant help but to feel annoyed and discouraged by the uninterested look given by this aunty here from time to time during the interview session. perhaps like wad the agent told me, she might be testing me out to see if i can handle the attitude given. but ive already rejected one offer that can offer me higher pay, i have no reason to accept this job which can only pay me 'this much' wad. there is no chance for me to speak up for myself either. i mean yea there is but they were like ' ya ya... but its not only about this you know. and you are inexperience...'
i was like ' er, but i personally tink that experience can be accumulated and...'
den they interrupted ' noooo, but experience is important too...blaa blaa blaa... and u have no experience also..'
damn. i haven finish my sentence yet!
kept on emphasizing . i dunno if they are trying to save their budget or trying to test my communication skills and sincerity. what i know is, experience seems to be a crucial factor for the market. well, i can understand from their position too, experience will save time and save time= save money.
STILL, if so y must they say that they can afford to pay that amount for this position and ask me to go down for an interview when in actual fact they think that my expected salary is 'too high'? i put that expected pay for some sapce for the company to negotiate with me wad... den i lowered my expected salary but still, they think its too much.. =(
ok, maybe this is how the HR departmant usually do... i dunno...
im just more upset about the response and expression they gave me...
shit i realised im really weak... got a little taken aback when got shot by the 2 old lady birdy this morning. felt so dejected and down after i stepped out of the room. confidence level immediately dropped and feel so unwanted. that interview made me feel so inferior. i start to question myself with everything. den i realise i got to buck up and learn frm this interview that its only thru all these interview experiences, i can get a better idea of what i really want and need when looking for a job.
i found out that im really not good at controlling my emotions when im sad or angry or helpless. i just feel like crying all out to vent out my expressions. but i never used to be like this leh... and everytime i recall the things that i've cried over for, i feel so stupid and remorseful. i tink im just too free all these while, have become really sensitive and bo liao. i seriously hate it.
met up wif chiew rong and melissa today... it always feels so good to be around with friends who share the same frequency as you. =)
Super embarrassing to think back on the reaction that i have when the lady called...
SIAN JI BUA.
confidence is important xian!!!
never felt so low and discouraged after an interview before. i seriously tot im kinda gaining the momentum and shld be steady enough to get into any interview already. just as when i tot im much more prepared and less nervous to attend to interview of all sorts...
boom! the god of experience throw me 2 old bird aunties to wake me up. =.=
ok, so there are interviewers like this.
slam me with all their doubtfulness and the 'this-girl-doesn't-know-how-much-she-actually-worth' look... arugh!
k la, i know that im inexperience... however, i still cant help but to feel annoyed and discouraged by the uninterested look given by this aunty here from time to time during the interview session. perhaps like wad the agent told me, she might be testing me out to see if i can handle the attitude given. but ive already rejected one offer that can offer me higher pay, i have no reason to accept this job which can only pay me 'this much' wad. there is no chance for me to speak up for myself either. i mean yea there is but they were like ' ya ya... but its not only about this you know. and you are inexperience...'
i was like ' er, but i personally tink that experience can be accumulated and...'
den they interrupted ' noooo, but experience is important too...blaa blaa blaa... and u have no experience also..'
damn. i haven finish my sentence yet!
kept on emphasizing . i dunno if they are trying to save their budget or trying to test my communication skills and sincerity. what i know is, experience seems to be a crucial factor for the market. well, i can understand from their position too, experience will save time and save time= save money.
STILL, if so y must they say that they can afford to pay that amount for this position and ask me to go down for an interview when in actual fact they think that my expected salary is 'too high'? i put that expected pay for some sapce for the company to negotiate with me wad... den i lowered my expected salary but still, they think its too much.. =(
ok, maybe this is how the HR departmant usually do... i dunno...
im just more upset about the response and expression they gave me...
shit i realised im really weak... got a little taken aback when got shot by the 2 old lady birdy this morning. felt so dejected and down after i stepped out of the room. confidence level immediately dropped and feel so unwanted. that interview made me feel so inferior. i start to question myself with everything. den i realise i got to buck up and learn frm this interview that its only thru all these interview experiences, i can get a better idea of what i really want and need when looking for a job.
i found out that im really not good at controlling my emotions when im sad or angry or helpless. i just feel like crying all out to vent out my expressions. but i never used to be like this leh... and everytime i recall the things that i've cried over for, i feel so stupid and remorseful. i tink im just too free all these while, have become really sensitive and bo liao. i seriously hate it.
met up wif chiew rong and melissa today... it always feels so good to be around with friends who share the same frequency as you. =)
2/21/2010
HUAT AH!
Happy Lunar New Year!!!
Gong Hei Fatt Choy!
woohoo!
had lou hei together with my gugu and cousin's family today!
hope everybody will get whatever they want!!! =D
Gong Hei Fatt Choy!
woohoo!
had lou hei together with my gugu and cousin's family today!
hope everybody will get whatever they want!!! =D
2/12/2010
EH HELLO! CAN YOU KILL ME PLEASE???
Someone kill me please...
i truly deserve to be shot to death...
im the worst pathetic idiot ever?????!!!
just as when i thought my pathetic life is gonna be over and luck seems to be on my way, here i am back to square one AGAIN! ARUGHHHHH...
last wednesday i received a call frm an agency, responding to one of the position that i've applied for, this guy asked me if i would like to take up this job... and of course, i said yes. i tink i can give it a try since there still is an interview for me to go.
but before that, i was told to go for an interview with the agency first the next day, so i did.
on last thursday, while on my way heading to the agency, i received another call frm another agency!
this lady here did not mentioned clearly to me on what is the position that she is responding to but asked if i can go down to tampines for an interview session after me informing her that im actually already outside on my way to an interview...
Well, everything went smoothly as it is on that day itself generally...
except maybe for the second one, i was kind of tired and restless after the first interview and long distance travelling journey... this second interview that i went for took rather long time and asked lots of questions that i never thought an agency would ask... there are moments when my mind just turned blank for a few seconds... or stumble over a question...etc.
man, its been ages since i attended an proper interview, rusty skills now... =(
nonetheless, i must admit that i wasnt fully prepared for the interview la... however, i feel thankful for this second interview as all those questions that they asked me have given me a really good experience to roughly know what kind of questions to expect from my potential employer for the next interview!
anyway, an interview was arranged for me by the first agency... the consultant told me that the company needed to find a replacement immediately, and if the interview is successful, the company may need me to start work the next day!
imagine how thrill i felt at that moment!
i dunno y, i just feel that i have a high chance of getting employed by the company after that interview with the first agency... so confident that i actually got the cheek to turn down a job offered by the second agency! but of cos i must prefer the working environment and position offered to me enough to reject the latter one...
NOW I FEEL DAMN GUILTY AND STUPID TO THINK BACK ABOUT THIS.
boohoo! =(
i got so anxious and excited over the interview with my potential employer that is gonna be held on monday. so i went to get myself new clothes for my interview and work the next day...
That Friday, i felt so nervous while shopping for clothes that whole day, worrying about the interview, about the 2 interviewers that is going to interview me, about what kind of image must i put up in front of my potential employer on monday...etc. den i realised i got 2 missed calls from 2 different unknown caller! at this point of time, it is obvious to me that those 2 different numbers are from 2 different companies! my friends never use their residential phone to call me, it cant be numbers from strangers too! chances are, these 2 numbers could be from my 2 different potential employers too! all the good things were happening too fast to me at that moment! i was happy one!
BUT ME, BEING SUCH A STUPID ASSHOLE ACTUALLY HESITATE IF I SHOULD CALL BACK TO WIDEN MY JOBS OPPORTUNITY!
TO MAKE THINGS WORST, I ACTUALLY DIDN'T CALL BACK IN THE END! RAHHHHHHH!!!!!!
not that i am very sure that i can get the job after the interview on monday, im just afraid that what if i called back and arrange for another 2 interview but really got hired after the interview on monday and need to start work the very next day??? will i get black-listed if i tell them that i cant attend the interview cos i've actually gotten a job?
wahlau eh yi xian!!!! so what if this is the case??? what's wrong with that???? even so, they can just cancel my name out from the list and start interviewing the rest of the potential candidate what! its not like they have decided to hire and signed a contract with me but i go accept another offer what! its not betrayal! who cares???
WHAT THE HELL WAS I THINKING THEN??!
now that the interview on monday is over...
the lady told me to wait for her call, which is like never.
here i am, continuing to search for jobs in front of my lappy again... haiz...
i got so gan chiong about my new job that i went crazy searching for office wear all over jp and anchorpoint last week lor! spent quite a lot on that too! =(
though the money is spend on the clothes that i would buy sooner or later, but still.... aiyer! =(
im like, killing myself softly with my own stupidity! T.T
how stupid a person can get?
yes, look at me and u will know. -.-
im like the dumbest idiot ever!
really feel like killing myself...
Just let me die.
1/22/2010
坐吃山空。
Went out wif ah ting today...
i feel so much better today as compared to the past few days...
guess my gloomy mood can only go off completely away from me when i start to live life...
oh well...
thank you gal for ur encouragement...
yes, i will get better.
Always keep the faith... =)
i feel so much better today as compared to the past few days...
guess my gloomy mood can only go off completely away from me when i start to live life...
oh well...
thank you gal for ur encouragement...
yes, i will get better.
Always keep the faith... =)
1/20/2010
Growing Up.
i always believe in the fact that everyone is different and that different people have different view, different stand, different value, different working style...etc. so i thought we should try to understand them for who and what they are... and even if we don't understand, we should try to compromise and accept their differences, especially when we are.... friends.
i presume that as long as we compromise, things will definitely get the way we want it to be in a pleasant way... however, i realised, things are not that easy, and i thank this incident to teach me what it really takes to accept people with different point of view and how bad things can turn when misunderstanding happens...
there will be times when i feel really puzzled about people around who share different views and reaction with me, but i always try to keep my mind clear and tell myself that "hey, we are different, thats y i should stay cool and let the matter rest! there may never come a time when people with different view will change their stand and agree with you, its ok to not understand me, but im not going to force them to be like me! hell no would i want to keep a distance away frm them cos i treasure every single one of them and want to maintain a healthy and happy relationship with everyone!"
don't think that im a good person.
我是人，不是神。
i myself is an ordinary human too.
i have blood, i have flesh, i have my own thoughts and point of view, i have a temper also.
i will not feel happy if things are not goin the way i wanted too. but as long as things are working well in a way that its fine with the majority, i have no problem to go with it. to see things working at a delighted mode where everyone is pleased makes me feel happy too.
come on, human are all selfish animal, we are all self-centred. there will be times when we want things to work the way we wanted when we are in groups. but because we are hot-blooded human, we got the brain to think, we have the heart to feel, we learn to compromise, we learn to understand, we learn to care and love. thats y i try hard to understand the things and people around me.
i am selfish to say this out cos this time, i really want others to hear me out, hear my point of view even though there might be voices around commenting things like ' just shut up, u dunno anything.' i still would say.... this is the only place i can talk to right now and most of the time...
its scary... i realised the older i grow, the lesser i know. the more i find out the ugly truth in every belief that im trying to hold, the more heart broken i felt... am i trying too hard? everything that happens to me now hits me real hard, that lead me to doubt myself again... what is wrong with me?
i know that everyone have their 'own set of ruler' in their life to 'measure' the people around and judge others the way they want. this is not up to me to change that. i understand.
everybody is urging to want someone to hear them out and understand the way they see and feel things and let people know the kind of sacrifices they have made for others so badly. i understand.
it makes u feels like a fool when u have done so much for the ones u valued most without them knowing, but they in turn, treat your friendship like a dung. even though there are times when the person didn't mean to, it still saddens you.
and it hurts.
so badly.
i always listen to them. i feel for them. i know i cant understand them cos i cant never be like them, but at least i tried hard to be there for them when they are down and encourage them whenever they turn to me, didn't i? when there's some gossips about my friends going around i will do the explainations for them, hoping the others will understand them and that the things they see aren't the way they supposed to be..
isn't it what a true friendship is like? No?
am i just doing something worthless? maybe im just a busybody, nobody ask or even needs me to do that for them... im such an asshole. =\
i don't deny that sometimes when people don't understand me i feel frusturated and annoyed, it makes my blood boils...
when i get suffocated with too much things that i want to make clear....
when there's so much misconception about me going on....
i cried. and trembled. my hands and feets all went cold.
this is a point when i am trying to keep my cool using all the strength i have in me as i don't wish to quarrel, i hate shouting and screaming.
i loathe CHAOS to the core.
its horrifying.
cos im too overwhelmed by the unexpected from the expected.
i feel lost, i need time to configure my thoughts and feelings.
but i never ever show a black face, cos i believe they didnt mean to...
will they ever feel my effort?
i really love my friends with all my hearts.
can they tell?
but i will try to understand this though, i have my own method of showing my love and care for my love ones, and they have their own way of appreciating and seeing my way of love for them too. if they cant understand, of course i'll feel disappointed..
but it cant be help too. there might be someone out there secretly caring about me without me knowing, i may be that idiot who don't know a thing and yet treating everything for granted. its easy to take things for granted when things around you comes so easily and happens almost with a common sense. i always remind myself to see things around in a grateful manner.
i hope that will help me grow better as a person, and become a better friend.
this is what i believe in, am i wrong?
pinning too much hope on others will let you fall flat and badly.
do not treat everything around for granted.
its always easy to say than to be done.
what hurts the most is when the people around that you think would understand actually don't.
well, i guess this is part of growing up...
some lessons that i have to learn in life...
if the harsh shit is over, i probably will grow stronger and become more matured to handle my future.
this entry may be selfish and full of myself, but i feel good after talking things out. phew...
sometimes i really hope there's a cctv following each of us around, so that we can know what sweet things have our love ones done for us secretly without us knowing... in this way, wouldnt there be lesser conflicts and more understanding with gratitude lingering around the world??
ok, im dreaming.
never thought that i could be that kind of person in other people's view... at least not from you...
do i look like this kind of person all these years to you?
utterly stunned.
sometimes years can't buy you deeper understanding, its the heart that u use to feel do...
just let it flow freely. my tears will go, but our friendship don't.
-hongjie
i presume that as long as we compromise, things will definitely get the way we want it to be in a pleasant way... however, i realised, things are not that easy, and i thank this incident to teach me what it really takes to accept people with different point of view and how bad things can turn when misunderstanding happens...
there will be times when i feel really puzzled about people around who share different views and reaction with me, but i always try to keep my mind clear and tell myself that "hey, we are different, thats y i should stay cool and let the matter rest! there may never come a time when people with different view will change their stand and agree with you, its ok to not understand me, but im not going to force them to be like me! hell no would i want to keep a distance away frm them cos i treasure every single one of them and want to maintain a healthy and happy relationship with everyone!"
don't think that im a good person.
我是人，不是神。
i myself is an ordinary human too.
i have blood, i have flesh, i have my own thoughts and point of view, i have a temper also.
i will not feel happy if things are not goin the way i wanted too. but as long as things are working well in a way that its fine with the majority, i have no problem to go with it. to see things working at a delighted mode where everyone is pleased makes me feel happy too.
come on, human are all selfish animal, we are all self-centred. there will be times when we want things to work the way we wanted when we are in groups. but because we are hot-blooded human, we got the brain to think, we have the heart to feel, we learn to compromise, we learn to understand, we learn to care and love. thats y i try hard to understand the things and people around me.
i am selfish to say this out cos this time, i really want others to hear me out, hear my point of view even though there might be voices around commenting things like ' just shut up, u dunno anything.' i still would say.... this is the only place i can talk to right now and most of the time...
its scary... i realised the older i grow, the lesser i know. the more i find out the ugly truth in every belief that im trying to hold, the more heart broken i felt... am i trying too hard? everything that happens to me now hits me real hard, that lead me to doubt myself again... what is wrong with me?
i know that everyone have their 'own set of ruler' in their life to 'measure' the people around and judge others the way they want. this is not up to me to change that. i understand.
everybody is urging to want someone to hear them out and understand the way they see and feel things and let people know the kind of sacrifices they have made for others so badly. i understand.
it makes u feels like a fool when u have done so much for the ones u valued most without them knowing, but they in turn, treat your friendship like a dung. even though there are times when the person didn't mean to, it still saddens you.
and it hurts.
so badly.
i always listen to them. i feel for them. i know i cant understand them cos i cant never be like them, but at least i tried hard to be there for them when they are down and encourage them whenever they turn to me, didn't i? when there's some gossips about my friends going around i will do the explainations for them, hoping the others will understand them and that the things they see aren't the way they supposed to be..
isn't it what a true friendship is like? No?
am i just doing something worthless? maybe im just a busybody, nobody ask or even needs me to do that for them... im such an asshole. =\
i don't deny that sometimes when people don't understand me i feel frusturated and annoyed, it makes my blood boils...
when i get suffocated with too much things that i want to make clear....
when there's so much misconception about me going on....
i cried. and trembled. my hands and feets all went cold.
this is a point when i am trying to keep my cool using all the strength i have in me as i don't wish to quarrel, i hate shouting and screaming.
i loathe CHAOS to the core.
its horrifying.
cos im too overwhelmed by the unexpected from the expected.
i feel lost, i need time to configure my thoughts and feelings.
but i never ever show a black face, cos i believe they didnt mean to...
will they ever feel my effort?
i really love my friends with all my hearts.
can they tell?
but i will try to understand this though, i have my own method of showing my love and care for my love ones, and they have their own way of appreciating and seeing my way of love for them too. if they cant understand, of course i'll feel disappointed..
but it cant be help too. there might be someone out there secretly caring about me without me knowing, i may be that idiot who don't know a thing and yet treating everything for granted. its easy to take things for granted when things around you comes so easily and happens almost with a common sense. i always remind myself to see things around in a grateful manner.
i hope that will help me grow better as a person, and become a better friend.
this is what i believe in, am i wrong?
pinning too much hope on others will let you fall flat and badly.
do not treat everything around for granted.
its always easy to say than to be done.
what hurts the most is when the people around that you think would understand actually don't.
well, i guess this is part of growing up...
some lessons that i have to learn in life...
if the harsh shit is over, i probably will grow stronger and become more matured to handle my future.
this entry may be selfish and full of myself, but i feel good after talking things out. phew...
sometimes i really hope there's a cctv following each of us around, so that we can know what sweet things have our love ones done for us secretly without us knowing... in this way, wouldnt there be lesser conflicts and more understanding with gratitude lingering around the world??
ok, im dreaming.
never thought that i could be that kind of person in other people's view... at least not from you...
do i look like this kind of person all these years to you?
utterly stunned.
sometimes years can't buy you deeper understanding, its the heart that u use to feel do...
just let it flow freely. my tears will go, but our friendship don't.
-hongjie
1/09/2010
Damn u.
i can't sleep.
Feel like shit these few days...
really cant stand the fact that i am growing up...
the more i see the world goes by, the more i realise the cruelty of real life...
i came to realise that what i have is not enough...
i seriously need to upgrade myself further in the future...
so many thoughts running through my mind lately that i tot my pea brain is gonna burst...
what im planning right now is not all about me...
i know that as i grow older, there'll be more responsibility awaiting for me to carry...
there may be some silent pressure and challenges waiting for me ahead right now already...
scariest thing is, i know i cant escape.
i really hope i can do a good job... can i?
being taken care of is a bliss.
guess i can never get a full taste of that after i graduate.
i long for a friend who will be there for me to encourage me to hold on...give me a hug, telling me everything's gonna be ok and that i am not alone... someone that really cares and will truly feel happy for my achievement or dream even if its just a really minor one... will there be one?
Damn u job hunt.
Feel like shit these few days...
really cant stand the fact that i am growing up...
the more i see the world goes by, the more i realise the cruelty of real life...
i came to realise that what i have is not enough...
i seriously need to upgrade myself further in the future...
so many thoughts running through my mind lately that i tot my pea brain is gonna burst...
what im planning right now is not all about me...
i know that as i grow older, there'll be more responsibility awaiting for me to carry...
there may be some silent pressure and challenges waiting for me ahead right now already...
scariest thing is, i know i cant escape.
i really hope i can do a good job... can i?
being taken care of is a bliss.
guess i can never get a full taste of that after i graduate.
i long for a friend who will be there for me to encourage me to hold on...give me a hug, telling me everything's gonna be ok and that i am not alone... someone that really cares and will truly feel happy for my achievement or dream even if its just a really minor one... will there be one?
Damn u job hunt.
1/07/2010
1/06/2010
Hello 2010.
this is my 1st blog entry in 2010.
gonna start wif how i spend my new year's eve...
hmm, decided to spend the new year's eve at home tgt wif my sis at home actually... sick of the large crowd in every new year's eve celebration... and that was my 1st time spending new year's eve celebration at home after so many years! i used to celebrate new year outside either wif friends or wif work...
but, this year's celebration is special... szewei, yongqiang, huizhen, zhiyun, lia and wenghua came over to my hse to welcome the year! =)
was a bit worried abt them coming at 1st cos my hse is really small and messy, but aiya, heck care la, since they dun mind den come lor... haha... fireworks was put up jus a few distance away in front of my block... lia and gang was so excited and crazy over the fireworks that nite... all running like mad to catch the best view they can get along my corridor as some of the fireworks are half blocked by the buildings in front... haha... fireworks were so pretty, i like~ =)
den huizhen and zhiyun left 1st, and the rest of us started playing...
i learnt 3 new games that night! it was my virgin play for dua dai di, i wasnt good at it and to make thing worst, im slow~ haha.. but wenghua is sweet enuff to guide me along beside me la... szewei den decide to pair up wif me as a team as im really green and slow.... wahahaha...
we played bluff and another fun game too... i dunno the name of the fun game but that game is awesome, not only its easy, its really entertaining at the same time! we had such a good laugh playing that and forfeit was jus drawing on the loser's arms wif a high-lighter... i suggested drawing on faces wif eyeliner and get the ultimate loser to go down to 7-eleven to buy stuff initially... lia was steady wif that den keep asking around for eyeliner and lipsticks, i got a bit scared after that and lied by saying i dun hav any... LOL... got a bit regretted at the end of the game, shld have bring out my eyeliner de, cos the ultimate winner wasnt me!!! aiya! wasted... -.-
it was really enjoyable afterall... thank you all for coming over... =)
******************************************************************************
i started the year by goin out wif M and his family, we went to west coast plaza to look around den mac... thanks to N's bf for driving me home... it was a cozy outing... =D
******************************************************************************
second day of 2010 was spend wif elfin and the birthday gal, chua geok ting! =D
its jus a small celebration at the bakerzin...
food was not bad, but the companion is better....
the so-called 'celebration' was pretty simple, more of like a gathering but we had a nice chit-chat session that night i supposed... haha... hope geok ting will find the gift ok, cos we had a hard time chosing her present... haha.. looking forward to ur 23rd birthday celebration gal! im waiting for ur ticket! *smirks* wahahaha...
its a new year... and i have lots of tots in my mind... shall talk again next time... =)
gonna start wif how i spend my new year's eve...
hmm, decided to spend the new year's eve at home tgt wif my sis at home actually... sick of the large crowd in every new year's eve celebration... and that was my 1st time spending new year's eve celebration at home after so many years! i used to celebrate new year outside either wif friends or wif work...
but, this year's celebration is special... szewei, yongqiang, huizhen, zhiyun, lia and wenghua came over to my hse to welcome the year! =)
was a bit worried abt them coming at 1st cos my hse is really small and messy, but aiya, heck care la, since they dun mind den come lor... haha... fireworks was put up jus a few distance away in front of my block... lia and gang was so excited and crazy over the fireworks that nite... all running like mad to catch the best view they can get along my corridor as some of the fireworks are half blocked by the buildings in front... haha... fireworks were so pretty, i like~ =)
den huizhen and zhiyun left 1st, and the rest of us started playing...
i learnt 3 new games that night! it was my virgin play for dua dai di, i wasnt good at it and to make thing worst, im slow~ haha.. but wenghua is sweet enuff to guide me along beside me la... szewei den decide to pair up wif me as a team as im really green and slow.... wahahaha...
we played bluff and another fun game too... i dunno the name of the fun game but that game is awesome, not only its easy, its really entertaining at the same time! we had such a good laugh playing that and forfeit was jus drawing on the loser's arms wif a high-lighter... i suggested drawing on faces wif eyeliner and get the ultimate loser to go down to 7-eleven to buy stuff initially... lia was steady wif that den keep asking around for eyeliner and lipsticks, i got a bit scared after that and lied by saying i dun hav any... LOL... got a bit regretted at the end of the game, shld have bring out my eyeliner de, cos the ultimate winner wasnt me!!! aiya! wasted... -.-
it was really enjoyable afterall... thank you all for coming over... =)
******************************************************************************
i started the year by goin out wif M and his family, we went to west coast plaza to look around den mac... thanks to N's bf for driving me home... it was a cozy outing... =D
******************************************************************************
second day of 2010 was spend wif elfin and the birthday gal, chua geok ting! =D
its jus a small celebration at the bakerzin...
food was not bad, but the companion is better....
the so-called 'celebration' was pretty simple, more of like a gathering but we had a nice chit-chat session that night i supposed... haha... hope geok ting will find the gift ok, cos we had a hard time chosing her present... haha.. looking forward to ur 23rd birthday celebration gal! im waiting for ur ticket! *smirks* wahahaha...
its a new year... and i have lots of tots in my mind... shall talk again next time... =)
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