Its all abt u, me & everybody

自己跌倒自己爬！

2010-10-26T12:04:00.003+08:00

我和同事刚才吃了黄莲。
好撑啊！！！

Office Politics/Dilemma.

2010-10-06T13:35:00.003+08:00

我看，在这公司呆下去，我会被这些表里不一的冷血动物给逼死。
救命啊！！！！！

BOOM! My Birthday Surprise!

2010-09-06T00:36:00.004+08:00

Aww....

Happy advanced 21st birthday to me!!!
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Thank you so much guys!!!
I know that must burnt a big hole in everyone's pocket, really appreciate that very much!
Imma blackberry user nao.
OMG. =D

The desire to CHANGE.

2010-09-01T23:22:00.004+08:00

My 21st birthday is reaching soon...
exactly one week's time from now.
omg.

what should i do b4 i turned 21 years old!!!
should i like go do anything memorable while im still young? something that is only reasonable and acceptable to do at my age before i get any older??!
wth la, im such a boring person all my life, really cant think of anything meaningful i can do b4 i become a real adult!

life of an working adult is really kind of monotonous.
but its good to learn and see new stuff for fresh ppl like me though.
im realising that im beginning to walk lesser than before now... DAMN ANNOYING. =.=
really need to add some spice into my life.
if i were to carry on to live my life like this, i tink i'll just die from the accumulation of fats flowing in my body~
laziness performing at its best. woohoo! =.=

THERE IS A NEED TO CHANGE.
MUAHAHAHAHA...

now that im reaching 21 yrs old soon, i really feel that it is time for me to start picking up some new skills and hobbies now... i find its always good to start things at a younger age... lesser burdens, lesser commitment, more energy and softer skin!
the feeling of living your youthful life to its fullest.
Wow.

There are so many things that i want to learn!
been thinking of learning tennis for quite some time...
been thinking about learning guitar for the longest time also...
been considering to try take up some clay pottery classes for awhile already...
dying to learn how to bake till i already forgot when...
been wanting to do this and that...etc FOR SO LONG. yet nothing is done lor. =(

been consoling myself that things will get better if i found a job.
well, and since im working now already, better for me to work harder and try achieve some small little goals or hopes i have for myself while working hard towards my bigger goal along the way!
guess life will be much better and interesting this way before i save enough for my studies. =)

ONE DAY, i shall...
1) Play the tennis like Maria Sharapova.
*throw my clutched left fist in the air and shout "yeah" in victory*

2) Strum the guiter like Carlos Santana, with both my eyes CLOSED.

3) Make clay pottery... er like... like a pro.

4) Bake a cake that tastes so good that everyone who have taken the first bite will teared and kneel down in front of me begging for more.

Woah, its so easy to say out these than to get it done.
Haiz.
FOCUS ON YOUR WORK, XIAN! FOCUS!

No Mood. No Moon.

2010-07-18T13:41:00.003+08:00

well, worklife's been dead boring...
im still at the learning process and making mistakes stage though...
man, i seriously dont't meant to commit these mistakes at times, but i just realised the more i pressurise myself to produce perfect work, the more i screw things up.

hais... =.=

people around have been really nice and patience wif me though... im just worried that one day they may just break down and scream their lungs off at me... lol... sigh...

well im still on probation, and they still have the chance to consider me before the dateline...
i dunno...
a part of me is really sincere and determind to give my best and learn frm my mistakes, yet another part of me really do not wish to become a redundant rookie, causing inconvenience to the ppl around...
its really demoralising at times.... that im starting to qns myself if im suitable for this company or even this industry... but i got a feeling that i'll get better and better as time goes by...
arugh, this feeling sucks!

being a rookie sometimes sucks like hell... cant really tell them the truth without sounding offensive, or else my words may turn to excuses... seriously, who would believe wad a rookie have said? double sian...

i can fully understand why some of the highly paid professionals would bear to give up their job and throw in some impressive amount of money into doing something they really like...
Makes me want to reconsider about my plan and see if that is practical enough to work out...

less mistakes xian! less mistakes!

and tomorrow's a monday... DAMN!

For Neda.

2010-06-12T18:43:00.003+08:00

Was really surprised that i actually missed this news last year. Astonished. Unbelievably ridiculous. Traumatised. Heart-broken. Thats how i felt after watching this clip.

Am totally speechless on how the Iran government actually runs the nation. Can't believe on how dangerous a beauty can bring to the women in Iraq.

Ive always been wondering if the ladies in Iraq have ever dreamt of wearing pretty clothes and showing their pretty faces on the street without getting reprimanded or even get jailed by the government, which unfortunately, run by the men. I have a clearer picture now. And am TOTALLY DISGUSTED by the brutal act of those who called themselves men in the country.

Neda is alive, the government is dead.

Ladies and Gentlemen...

2010-05-27T21:54:00.001+08:00

I GOT A JOB!
I'M HIRED! =D

2nd Attempt.

2010-05-26T16:18:00.004+08:00

My second attempt on okonomoyaki was slightly better than the first attempt...
though there is a little chao ta la, but overall it tasted much better than ytd's one!
the layers are more define now, im able to taste the crunchiness of the veggies better!
Im sastified! WOOHOO! =D

the one on the right side tasted better than the one on the left.
cos the one on the left was a bit chao ta, i tot by squeesing more okonomiyaki sauce wld help to cover the chao da taste. mei xiang dao the sauce yue bang yue mang! =.=
a bit too salty for me...
but NEVER MIND! at least putting the control of the amount of sauce aside, my okonomiyaki have improved! *applause applause*

NEXT ATTEMPT! NEXT ATTEMPT! NEXT ATTEMPT!

Side By Side.

2010-05-26T01:41:00.003+08:00

My first attempt on Okonomiyaki! =D

passable only though...
i felt that there are so much to improve on...
the timing wasnt right, i was too anxious luh..
thought the pancake is ready when both the sides are cooked.
its only when i taste the first bite then i realised i forgot to make sure that the middle have to be cooked too.

heng the taste wasnt too flour-y... haha!
too much cabbage to cover that taste i guess...
luckily i like my okonomiyaki 'cabbagey' and 'corny'! =)

Control the proportion!
Control the timing!
Improve on the presentation! its ugly!
Gonna make a better one next time round!

*************************************************************************
Guk. says:
anyway
thx leh
u motivated me
wowwwwww

BiG BiG hEaD~ I LOVE M&M! =) says:
LOL
no problem

Guk. says:
ok

BiG BiG hEaD~ I LOVE M&M! =) says:
I tink im one step closer to being a prison officer now.

Guk. says: hahaha!

Guk. says: i m a criminal?!!!

HAHAHA!

Fxxxtard.

2010-05-17T23:34:00.003+08:00

今天的我，特讨厌自己。。。

完毕。

我的朋友。

2010-05-06T15:05:00.014+08:00

Woohoo!

i feel great today after an interview for no good reason and i totally have no clue why...
I JUST FEEL KINDA HAPPY TODAY.
thats all... wahahaha...

been having these good old-fashioned cakes frm this really old school confectionary shop nearby my hse since i was young. used to love the colourful designs they have. but its been a long long time since i last taste it again. suddenly miss the feeling this afternoon, so i bought some home and held a reunion session wif one of them inside my mouth... yum yum yum... muahaha...

well, some of my friends who've asked me will know im back to job hunting again...
its with deep thoughts and serious consideration for me to make that decision.
am really grateful for lujun's msges and hongyou's call that night... i mean, there are times when i get really lost and indecisive about what decisions to make for myself... im considered really lucky to have friends around to hear me out, giving me constructive advice...

even though i have an answer in mind most of the time, sometimes i just need that someone who know me enough to use their words to hit me and make me realise what i want. and i actually feel relieved after the decision is being made. i need job sastifaction... and some stuffs that is hard to express. but i know i will know it when i find it.

im glad.
cos i know ive made the right decision for myself.
i have a clearer idea about what is suitable for me and what's not.
thus, no regrets.
WOOHOO! =D

and....

thank you hong u for being there, though you may not know me VERY VERY well (cos i dun know myself VERY VERY well either), u've been one of the few friends who knows what i want most of the time. U always know i know what is good for me and what i want when i dint realise that i know. well... not everytime, but most of the time la.
SISTER I LOVE YOU! T.T
you rock! you know it. =D

thank you lujun for making me remember how much i love my previous job. thank you for encouraging me to get a job that im happy with. but its difficult to get a job that i like la, since things always dint want to go the way i wanted. =.=
LOL, anyway, i believe that even though i cant get a job that i love, i can still make the best out of whatever im having too! well, not literally whatever, but the other kind of whatever... ya know? wahahaha....

oh and of cos, not forgetting CHUA GEOK TING.
MY. BEST. ADVISOR. EVER.
whenever i got really lost and doubtful, she will be one of the first few friends i call for help.
she never fails to give me constructive comments and amazingly, her advice always suits me the most. i always agree on the things she agrees with most of the time. we share about the same idea and meaning of friendship... if im not wrg. dunno why.
its either capricorn + virgo= perfect combo. or maybe great minds think alike. HAHAHAHAHAHA!
this gal is witty,practical, logical yet understanding and possesses the most ridiculous and craziest comments/ideas at the same time.
she is funny. she is thoughtful. she is sensible. she is sweet. she is cheery-though-emo-at-times. she is efficient. she is the potential rich tai-tai. she is the curly-hair gal....
SHE IS MINE. hahahahahahaha... =D
SIMPLY LOVE HER. OMG.
HELLO AH TING CAN U HEAR ME???
I LOVE U DEEP DEEP K! =)

im feeling more and more guilty now as i type...
there are so many friends around me who care for me and yet there is nothing much i can do for them in return...
sometimes i really wonder whats wrong wif them to treat an ordinary friend like me so well.
they have given me things that are more than what i can give them. never did they ask for anything in return. and i really appreciate it beri beri much. *sniffs*

love lia, cos she is always there to help me out whenever she can. never forget how she helped me with my horrible math back in secondary school days and during my re-taking of 'o' level math. love the way she tries hard to make the steps easier for me to understand better with those stupid algebra questions. hahaha! =D
she is always so true to all the people around. omg, why am i so lucky to have her as my friend.
Love you deep deep too lia!

love szewei, cos though she is blunt wif her words at times but i always know she did it because she cares. =) love her jokes cos she never tries too hard as she is already a joke herself. hahahaha... i always use my blog as an alternative to express my thoughts and feelings usually when im emo and tend to forget wad i wrote after that. never would i expect anyone to be reading it too, but this gal will always be the first one to get to me and ask me if im ok and make sure that im alright. *sniffs* thank you gal for your encouragement all these while!

love huizhen, simply cos i like her and all my friends likes her. hahaha... honestly i dont get to interact wif her as much as lia and sw, but i always feel good talking to her cos she is always kind wif her words. its funny how i could still rmb how i met her during sec 1 choir practise session, i gave her a a nickname called 扫把头, cos her hair was DAMN THICK AND DRY back then. LOL! was really touched when she offered to help me fork out birthday present for jackson in advance that night, (and szewei offered to do the same thing too! 这真是太感动了！姐妹情深！！！*applause*)... though i turned down their offer cos i really dun wish to take advantage of their kindness and it makes no sense too, deep inside i appreciate their thoughts very much.
thank you gal! hope ur kindness would 感动天，感动地 so as to 保佑 you for getting good grades for ur exams!

love judy, cos she always listens to me sincerely whenever i talk ... i mean, she really listens.
knowing that im super broke at that time, she immediately help me find kids who needs a tutor for chinese. fast and furious. hahaha... looking back at those yearsss i had spent wif her, and seeing her now, she have definitely changed. more sensible and thoughtful. and ahem, vain. heehee.. but its a good change! =D
whoa, i just realised that we are entering into the 10th year of friendship this year! have to inform chiewrong, melissa and karling someday and gather around liao! =)

i love my kelly too! =) i always thought i could never find a friend like lia and all till i met her.
those days when i was struggling between work and school at the same time. i could have died of fatigue without her!
she have a tiny body, but a big heart. and... a loud voice too. LOL.
always makes me feel touched and guilty whenever she says ‘娴，快点去做工！这里交给我们！’or ‘娴！小心工作，记得吃饭！’or ‘懿娴，复习得怎样？会吗？？不会要讲ah! 不要跟我客气hor!’ or ‘娴！来！我帮你！’or ‘娴！。。。’etc... what have i done to get myself such a wonderful friend?? helped me in class when i was in the same sem wif her... continue to help me when i stayed back for one sem... continue to care for me after we graduate... this gal have done so much for me but im ashamed to say, i have nothing much to repay her... BUT, i will be there for her whenever she needs me to! stay strong gal! u will get better! looking forward to meet up wif u and the SIM gang again! =)

love dillon and jasper too woohoo! without their understanding, i wouldnt have be able to pass my semesters and come so far... dillon, the most talented guy i ever seen yet. jasper, the easy-going one. these 2 didis, together wif kelly, created an enjoyable memories for me in my days in SIM. i always tot rich kids are either spoilt and hard to please or difficult to communicate with, they have both changed my perspective and im glad and proud to have them as my friend too! =)

tsk tsk tsk, i tink ive used up all my luck in life to get all these superb friends liao. shit, im goin to be damn unlucky for the rest of my whole life! but neh mind, in exchange wif good friends like them its worth it though! wahaha...

ive never been a person who owns lots of friends since young.
there was a time, when i was still a kid in primary school, i used to envy those ppl around me who have loads of friends around them wherever they go. slowly as i grow older and met chiew rong in primary 5, i begin to realised that its the quality of friends that counts, quantity doesnt matter anymore. i started to appreciate the presence of my lovely friends more and more. till now, i am very happy with what i have. there are just a few of them, but each of them is a rare find that cannot be replaced by anybody.
and definitely, im proud of them too! =)

Start.

2010-04-19T23:52:00.002+08:00

after all of the feelings of uncertain...
after all of the several disappointments...
after all of the days and nights sitting in front of my lappy...
after all of the encouragements given by my family and friends around...
after all of the crazy amount of resume sent...
after all of the good and bad or even weird interviews experiences...

im kind of hired. =)
and tomorrow will be my first day of work.
i tot i'll be super happy, but surprisingly no.
in fact, im worried and really lost.
its a position i dint expect to get.
totally have no idea on wad to do and not confident in that.
well, there's always a first time...

lets hope that my first day of work will be smooth and sound.
may the colleagues over there be forgiving with me...

xian, jia you.
be tough, u'll gonna learn something new.
tml will be a new start.
im hoping for the best.
=)

Just Pray.

2010-03-31T00:08:00.003+08:00

yesterday's interview was not bad...
area of the office was small, but the staff there seems to be pretty friendly...
love the vibrant colour of their cubicle...
that lady who interviewed me mentioned something which made me feel really good...
wahahaha...

well, not gonna pin on too much hope on this though...
been to sick and tired of the repetitive instant high and low mood already...
im just going to stay positive but not hopeful.

Faking Miss Happy.

2010-03-28T23:50:00.004+08:00

OH HAPPY 3 YRS 3 MTHS ANNIVERSARY!
OH I HAD THE MOST SUMPTUOUS MEAL FOR DINNER TONIGHT!
OH ITS MY FAVOURITE CURRY CHICKEN COOKED BY MY MAMA!
HMM...
AND OH, IM GONNA BE GOING FOR AN INTERVIEW TOMORROW MORNING FOR A POSITION WHICH I DON'T REALLY LIKE!BUT HECK CARE LA, AS IF THEY DESPERATELY NEED A FRESH DIP HOLDER LIKE ME!
AIYAYA, BE HAPPY! AT LEAST SOMEONE IS GIVING YOU A CHANCE TO SHOW THEM WHAT YOU GOT!
OH YA! I OUGHT TO BE HAPPY! HAHAHAHA! =D

damn. =.=

Not Calling Back.

2010-03-26T22:28:00.006+08:00

Mood has been like a roller coaster lately...
first, calls start to fill in whenever i start losing hope...
then my heart was filled with so much faith and hope after each call and interview...
as days goes by, level of confidence and faith starts to drop again...
den other calls came in...
cycle goes on and on...

i was pretty happy to be called back for a 2nd interview initially...
i waited and waited...
ending each day with no reply is really scary and disappointing...
receiving calls frm numbers that i do not wish to see is annoying as well...
"well, they need some time to do the selection afterall... give them some time!"
thats how i force myself to stay positive at the end of each day...

its friday already.
that "see you!" is obviously coming out of courtesy, no hidden meaning.
they arent gonna call back.
thats for sure now.

perhaps i shld have given a better answer...
perhaps i shld gave them my super wide smile throughout that interview...
perhaps i shld have requested to arrange for the interview at another day cos come on, its a friday evening!
perhaps... perhaps... perhaps...

everything just went so perfectly right...
i feel so comfortable when i first step in there...
from their cleaner, to security guard, to the 3 interviewers and then the assistant director...
they were all so nice and sweet...
i totally feel right in there...
they offer everything i have always been looking for... literally everything.

i shldnt have pin on so much hope on it...
seriously, heart sinks to my belly already... =.=

career fair today wasnt as good as i expected.
same old thing with what i usually found on the web.
no wonder i feel an energy around me making me feel so reluctant to go the day before... sigh...

i am tired.
really tired le...
i really have no idea when can i ever get a job...

is finding a job that can let me stay for long in order to enable me to save up for my uni fees with the time limit set by myself that difficult?

well, seeing the rate that im moving at... i guess, it must be a definite yes.
hais...

oh crap, just by tracking back a few of my recent blog entries, i found out that i've been so emo and vexed all these while... its so annoying to see that... but i find it a superb place to vent out my frustrations though...

I have like... no tomorrow?

窝囊废

2010-03-12T23:40:00.004+08:00

Today's mood is totally spoilt by this morning's interview...
Super embarrassing to think back on the reaction that i have when the lady called...
SIAN JI BUA.

confidence is important xian!!!

never felt so low and discouraged after an interview before. i seriously tot im kinda gaining the momentum and shld be steady enough to get into any interview already. just as when i tot im much more prepared and less nervous to attend to interview of all sorts...
boom! the god of experience throw me 2 old bird aunties to wake me up. =.=

ok, so there are interviewers like this.
slam me with all their doubtfulness and the 'this-girl-doesn't-know-how-much-she-actually-worth' look... arugh!
k la, i know that im inexperience... however, i still cant help but to feel annoyed and discouraged by the uninterested look given by this aunty here from time to time during the interview session. perhaps like wad the agent told me, she might be testing me out to see if i can handle the attitude given. but ive already rejected one offer that can offer me higher pay, i have no reason to accept this job which can only pay me 'this much' wad. there is no chance for me to speak up for myself either. i mean yea there is but they were like ' ya ya... but its not only about this you know. and you are inexperience...'
i was like ' er, but i personally tink that experience can be accumulated and...'
den they interrupted ' noooo, but experience is important too...blaa blaa blaa... and u have no experience also..'

damn. i haven finish my sentence yet!
kept on emphasizing . i dunno if they are trying to save their budget or trying to test my communication skills and sincerity. what i know is, experience seems to be a crucial factor for the market. well, i can understand from their position too, experience will save time and save time= save money.

STILL, if so y must they say that they can afford to pay that amount for this position and ask me to go down for an interview when in actual fact they think that my expected salary is 'too high'? i put that expected pay for some sapce for the company to negotiate with me wad... den i lowered my expected salary but still, they think its too much.. =(

ok, maybe this is how the HR departmant usually do... i dunno...
im just more upset about the response and expression they gave me...
shit i realised im really weak... got a little taken aback when got shot by the 2 old lady birdy this morning. felt so dejected and down after i stepped out of the room. confidence level immediately dropped and feel so unwanted. that interview made me feel so inferior. i start to question myself with everything. den i realise i got to buck up and learn frm this interview that its only thru all these interview experiences, i can get a better idea of what i really want and need when looking for a job.

i found out that im really not good at controlling my emotions when im sad or angry or helpless. i just feel like crying all out to vent out my expressions. but i never used to be like this leh... and everytime i recall the things that i've cried over for, i feel so stupid and remorseful. i tink im just too free all these while, have become really sensitive and bo liao. i seriously hate it.

met up wif chiew rong and melissa today... it always feels so good to be around with friends who share the same frequency as you. =)

HUAT AH!

2010-02-21T23:56:00.003+08:00

Happy Lunar New Year!!!
Gong Hei Fatt Choy!
woohoo!
had lou hei together with my gugu and cousin's family today!
hope everybody will get whatever they want!!! =D

EH HELLO! CAN YOU KILL ME PLEASE???

2010-02-12T23:52:00.005+08:00

Someone kill me please...

i truly deserve to be shot to death...

im the worst pathetic idiot ever?????!!!

just as when i thought my pathetic life is gonna be over and luck seems to be on my way, here i am back to square one AGAIN! ARUGHHHHH...

last wednesday i received a call frm an agency, responding to one of the position that i've applied for, this guy asked me if i would like to take up this job... and of course, i said yes. i tink i can give it a try since there still is an interview for me to go.

but before that, i was told to go for an interview with the agency first the next day, so i did.

on last thursday, while on my way heading to the agency, i received another call frm another agency!

this lady here did not mentioned clearly to me on what is the position that she is responding to but asked if i can go down to tampines for an interview session after me informing her that im actually already outside on my way to an interview...

Well, everything went smoothly as it is on that day itself generally...

except maybe for the second one, i was kind of tired and restless after the first interview and long distance travelling journey... this second interview that i went for took rather long time and asked lots of questions that i never thought an agency would ask... there are moments when my mind just turned blank for a few seconds... or stumble over a question...etc.

man, its been ages since i attended an proper interview, rusty skills now... =(

nonetheless, i must admit that i wasnt fully prepared for the interview la... however, i feel thankful for this second interview as all those questions that they asked me have given me a really good experience to roughly know what kind of questions to expect from my potential employer for the next interview!

anyway, an interview was arranged for me by the first agency... the consultant told me that the company needed to find a replacement immediately, and if the interview is successful, the company may need me to start work the next day!

imagine how thrill i felt at that moment!

i dunno y, i just feel that i have a high chance of getting employed by the company after that interview with the first agency... so confident that i actually got the cheek to turn down a job offered by the second agency! but of cos i must prefer the working environment and position offered to me enough to reject the latter one...

NOW I FEEL DAMN GUILTY AND STUPID TO THINK BACK ABOUT THIS.

boohoo! =(

i got so anxious and excited over the interview with my potential employer that is gonna be held on monday. so i went to get myself new clothes for my interview and work the next day...

That Friday, i felt so nervous while shopping for clothes that whole day, worrying about the interview, about the 2 interviewers that is going to interview me, about what kind of image must i put up in front of my potential employer on monday...etc. den i realised i got 2 missed calls from 2 different unknown caller! at this point of time, it is obvious to me that those 2 different numbers are from 2 different companies! my friends never use their residential phone to call me, it cant be numbers from strangers too! chances are, these 2 numbers could be from my 2 different potential employers too! all the good things were happening too fast to me at that moment! i was happy one!

BUT ME, BEING SUCH A STUPID ASSHOLE ACTUALLY HESITATE IF I SHOULD CALL BACK TO WIDEN MY JOBS OPPORTUNITY!

TO MAKE THINGS WORST, I ACTUALLY DIDN'T CALL BACK IN THE END! RAHHHHHHH!!!!!!

not that i am very sure that i can get the job after the interview on monday, im just afraid that what if i called back and arrange for another 2 interview but really got hired after the interview on monday and need to start work the very next day??? will i get black-listed if i tell them that i cant attend the interview cos i've actually gotten a job?

wahlau eh yi xian!!!! so what if this is the case??? what's wrong with that???? even so, they can just cancel my name out from the list and start interviewing the rest of the potential candidate what! its not like they have decided to hire and signed a contract with me but i go accept another offer what! its not betrayal! who cares???

WHAT THE HELL WAS I THINKING THEN??!

now that the interview on monday is over...

the lady told me to wait for her call, which is like never.

here i am, continuing to search for jobs in front of my lappy again... haiz...

i got so gan chiong about my new job that i went crazy searching for office wear all over jp and anchorpoint last week lor! spent quite a lot on that too! =(

though the money is spend on the clothes that i would buy sooner or later, but still.... aiyer! =(

im like, killing myself softly with my own stupidity! T.T

how stupid a person can get?

yes, look at me and u will know. -.-

im like the dumbest idiot ever!

really feel like killing myself...

Just let me die.

坐吃山空。

2010-01-22T23:59:00.004+08:00

Went out wif ah ting today...
i feel so much better today as compared to the past few days...
guess my gloomy mood can only go off completely away from me when i start to live life...
oh well...

thank you gal for ur encouragement...
yes, i will get better.
Always keep the faith... =)

Growing Up.

2010-01-20T00:22:00.005+08:00

i always believe in the fact that everyone is different and that different people have different view, different stand, different value, different working style...etc. so i thought we should try to understand them for who and what they are... and even if we don't understand, we should try to compromise and accept their differences, especially when we are.... friends.

i presume that as long as we compromise, things will definitely get the way we want it to be in a pleasant way... however, i realised, things are not that easy, and i thank this incident to teach me what it really takes to accept people with different point of view and how bad things can turn when misunderstanding happens...

there will be times when i feel really puzzled about people around who share different views and reaction with me, but i always try to keep my mind clear and tell myself that "hey, we are different, thats y i should stay cool and let the matter rest! there may never come a time when people with different view will change their stand and agree with you, its ok to not understand me, but im not going to force them to be like me! hell no would i want to keep a distance away frm them cos i treasure every single one of them and want to maintain a healthy and happy relationship with everyone!"

don't think that im a good person.

我是人，不是神。

i myself is an ordinary human too.
i have blood, i have flesh, i have my own thoughts and point of view, i have a temper also.
i will not feel happy if things are not goin the way i wanted too. but as long as things are working well in a way that its fine with the majority, i have no problem to go with it. to see things working at a delighted mode where everyone is pleased makes me feel happy too.

come on, human are all selfish animal, we are all self-centred. there will be times when we want things to work the way we wanted when we are in groups. but because we are hot-blooded human, we got the brain to think, we have the heart to feel, we learn to compromise, we learn to understand, we learn to care and love. thats y i try hard to understand the things and people around me.

i am selfish to say this out cos this time, i really want others to hear me out, hear my point of view even though there might be voices around commenting things like ' just shut up, u dunno anything.' i still would say.... this is the only place i can talk to right now and most of the time...

its scary... i realised the older i grow, the lesser i know. the more i find out the ugly truth in every belief that im trying to hold, the more heart broken i felt... am i trying too hard? everything that happens to me now hits me real hard, that lead me to doubt myself again... what is wrong with me?

i know that everyone have their 'own set of ruler' in their life to 'measure' the people around and judge others the way they want. this is not up to me to change that. i understand.

everybody is urging to want someone to hear them out and understand the way they see and feel things and let people know the kind of sacrifices they have made for others so badly. i understand.

it makes u feels like a fool when u have done so much for the ones u valued most without them knowing, but they in turn, treat your friendship like a dung. even though there are times when the person didn't mean to, it still saddens you.
and it hurts.
so badly.

i always listen to them. i feel for them. i know i cant understand them cos i cant never be like them, but at least i tried hard to be there for them when they are down and encourage them whenever they turn to me, didn't i? when there's some gossips about my friends going around i will do the explainations for them, hoping the others will understand them and that the things they see aren't the way they supposed to be..
isn't it what a true friendship is like? No?

am i just doing something worthless? maybe im just a busybody, nobody ask or even needs me to do that for them... im such an asshole. =\

i don't deny that sometimes when people don't understand me i feel frusturated and annoyed, it makes my blood boils...
when i get suffocated with too much things that i want to make clear....
when there's so much misconception about me going on....

i cried. and trembled. my hands and feets all went cold.
this is a point when i am trying to keep my cool using all the strength i have in me as i don't wish to quarrel, i hate shouting and screaming.
i loathe CHAOS to the core.

its horrifying.
cos im too overwhelmed by the unexpected from the expected.
i feel lost, i need time to configure my thoughts and feelings.
but i never ever show a black face, cos i believe they didnt mean to...
will they ever feel my effort?

i really love my friends with all my hearts.
can they tell?
but i will try to understand this though, i have my own method of showing my love and care for my love ones, and they have their own way of appreciating and seeing my way of love for them too. if they cant understand, of course i'll feel disappointed..

but it cant be help too. there might be someone out there secretly caring about me without me knowing, i may be that idiot who don't know a thing and yet treating everything for granted. its easy to take things for granted when things around you comes so easily and happens almost with a common sense. i always remind myself to see things around in a grateful manner.
i hope that will help me grow better as a person, and become a better friend.
this is what i believe in, am i wrong?

pinning too much hope on others will let you fall flat and badly.
do not treat everything around for granted.
its always easy to say than to be done.
what hurts the most is when the people around that you think would understand actually don't.

well, i guess this is part of growing up...
some lessons that i have to learn in life...
if the harsh shit is over, i probably will grow stronger and become more matured to handle my future.

this entry may be selfish and full of myself, but i feel good after talking things out. phew...
sometimes i really hope there's a cctv following each of us around, so that we can know what sweet things have our love ones done for us secretly without us knowing... in this way, wouldnt there be lesser conflicts and more understanding with gratitude lingering around the world??

ok, im dreaming.

never thought that i could be that kind of person in other people's view... at least not from you...
do i look like this kind of person all these years to you?
utterly stunned.
sometimes years can't buy you deeper understanding, its the heart that u use to feel do...

just let it flow freely. my tears will go, but our friendship don't.
-hongjie

Damn u.

2010-01-09T03:06:00.005+08:00

i can't sleep.

Feel like shit these few days...
really cant stand the fact that i am growing up...
the more i see the world goes by, the more i realise the cruelty of real life...

i came to realise that what i have is not enough...
i seriously need to upgrade myself further in the future...
so many thoughts running through my mind lately that i tot my pea brain is gonna burst...

what im planning right now is not all about me...
i know that as i grow older, there'll be more responsibility awaiting for me to carry...
there may be some silent pressure and challenges waiting for me ahead right now already...
scariest thing is, i know i cant escape.
i really hope i can do a good job... can i?

being taken care of is a bliss.
guess i can never get a full taste of that after i graduate.

i long for a friend who will be there for me to encourage me to hold on...give me a hug, telling me everything's gonna be ok and that i am not alone... someone that really cares and will truly feel happy for my achievement or dream even if its just a really minor one... will there be one?

Damn u job hunt.

Valentine's Day.

2010-01-07T11:55:00.005+08:00

Saw the trailer through my facebook...

Im gonna watch this!!! =D

Hello 2010.

2010-01-06T00:21:00.007+08:00

this is my 1st blog entry in 2010.
gonna start wif how i spend my new year's eve...
hmm, decided to spend the new year's eve at home tgt wif my sis at home actually... sick of the large crowd in every new year's eve celebration... and that was my 1st time spending new year's eve celebration at home after so many years! i used to celebrate new year outside either wif friends or wif work...

but, this year's celebration is special... szewei, yongqiang, huizhen, zhiyun, lia and wenghua came over to my hse to welcome the year! =)
was a bit worried abt them coming at 1st cos my hse is really small and messy, but aiya, heck care la, since they dun mind den come lor... haha... fireworks was put up jus a few distance away in front of my block... lia and gang was so excited and crazy over the fireworks that nite... all running like mad to catch the best view they can get along my corridor as some of the fireworks are half blocked by the buildings in front... haha... fireworks were so pretty, i like~ =)

den huizhen and zhiyun left 1st, and the rest of us started playing...
i learnt 3 new games that night! it was my virgin play for dua dai di, i wasnt good at it and to make thing worst, im slow~ haha.. but wenghua is sweet enuff to guide me along beside me la... szewei den decide to pair up wif me as a team as im really green and slow.... wahahaha...
we played bluff and another fun game too... i dunno the name of the fun game but that game is awesome, not only its easy, its really entertaining at the same time! we had such a good laugh playing that and forfeit was jus drawing on the loser's arms wif a high-lighter... i suggested drawing on faces wif eyeliner and get the ultimate loser to go down to 7-eleven to buy stuff initially... lia was steady wif that den keep asking around for eyeliner and lipsticks, i got a bit scared after that and lied by saying i dun hav any... LOL... got a bit regretted at the end of the game, shld have bring out my eyeliner de, cos the ultimate winner wasnt me!!! aiya! wasted... -.-
it was really enjoyable afterall... thank you all for coming over... =)
******************************************************************************
i started the year by goin out wif M and his family, we went to west coast plaza to look around den mac... thanks to N's bf for driving me home... it was a cozy outing... =D
******************************************************************************
second day of 2010 was spend wif elfin and the birthday gal, chua geok ting! =D
its jus a small celebration at the bakerzin...
food was not bad, but the companion is better....
the so-called 'celebration' was pretty simple, more of like a gathering but we had a nice chit-chat session that night i supposed... haha... hope geok ting will find the gift ok, cos we had a hard time chosing her present... haha.. looking forward to ur 23rd birthday celebration gal! im waiting for ur ticket! *smirks* wahahaha...

its a new year... and i have lots of tots in my mind... shall talk again next time... =)

End the year wif loads of fun. Goodbye 2009.

2009-12-31T23:22:00.011+08:00

omg, its 31st December 2009 today!!!
last day of 2009!!!
2010 coming in less than an hours time!!

so many things happening in these 2 weeks!!!
met up wif geok ting a few times recently...
we went aston for dinner and some fun chit-chatting session few weeks ago... thanks for her recommendation, the food and price over there is simply SUPERB! lol... shall go there again and again and again.... hohoho...
den met up wif her again last night to town and she bought a fred perry shirt for her lao shu... how sweet!!! =)
learnt lots of stuff i dint get to learn in sch frm her... lol... stepping into the working society sounds like an adventurous trip... exciting yet dangerous... need to be careful when i found a job! =\

and oh, i had a really fun boxing day this year too! spent the whole day wif lia,wenghua, huizhen and hongu... lia rented a QQ and picked everyone of us up at our place! =D

we went to tiong bahru plaza to have delicious steaming hot steamboat at Rajah Inn... food was as yummy as the last time we went! really hope i can have a bigger appetite... haha... all of us... or rather, hongu, was talking non-stop during the steamboat session... more like a gossiping session.. lol... but it was really fun listening to hong u talk... cos he is vicious enuff wif his words! HAHA... the oily but yummy steamboat was wrapped up wif a generous portion of chocolate fondue.... lovely~ =)
den after realising that we have some time to spare before the ktv session at 7, we head down to the arcade to have some fun... after the fun, we head down to chinatown 10 dollars club for k finally!!! =D

we exchange xmas presents in the room and i got a watch frm wenghua! hongu got mine! had a really good laugh during the 3 hrs of ktv session... hongu wif his goddness, celine dion's songs... LOL... it was so hard to sing and so long! the way he put his lungs and soul into the songs he sings is so ridiculously hilarious! nt that we've not listen to his singing b4, but it really sound different when he sings in a k room... haha... the collaboration between hongu and huizhen was the classic for the whole k session... damn entertaining. but for one moment i tot im goin deaf. the ability of choir~ hahaha...

so, after the k session, lia sent us back home... took loads of photos at the back seat wif hongu and huizhen, it really helped to kill time! =D den, when lia send me home, hongu, lia, wenghua and i took several pics again at the carpark below my hse... now i realised i dun have any group photos of us! its all wif wenghua and hongu! GREAT.

-.-

Took some blurry photos of lia when she drove thou....

Home sweet home.... =)

28th Dec 2009, a special day for me~

went to escape theme park for the first time wif M...

finally get a chance to see and experience wads it is like over there...

told hongu that i'll be goin to escape the day b4... he strongly recommend me to take the pirate ride and the other ride wif big splash of water... was pretty eager to try that initially till i saw the actual ride....

pui, that was scary... told myself i would never go try the one wif water... it was way too high!

den i wonder around the pirate ride for a few times... keep askin myself if i can really do that... but in the end... i didnt... =(

i tried the rollar coaster, superman, ferris wheel, bump boat and go-kart though! it was fun! enjoyed them pretty much! if only the ferris wheel is bigger, it wld definitely be more enjoyable!

Go-kart is really exciting! i drove it twice! i wanna try that again next time! =D

we stayed there till 8pm, their closing time....

Pirate ride, im gonna conqeur u the next time i come! =)

But it's Christmas Eve baby...

2009-12-24T09:26:00.006+08:00

And.... it's CHRISTMAS EVE TODAY!!!
The weather is cold...
Its drizzling outside right now early in the morning...
breakfast is taken and im now watching Sesame Street while blogging...
decided not to attend for the steamboat session in the end... i need to keep in mind with the situation that im currently having now... control yixian! control!
its gonna be a different experience for me on christmas eve and christmas day this year...
i'll be spending these 2 days at home... lazing around... finding jobs... saving money... yawns...
LOL!
ok la, its been a very long time since i spend both my christmas eve and christmas day at home... i've been busying involved myself with either work or with celebrations with friends on christmas eve and day for the past 3,4 years... kinda miss those times when i was still a little kid... i just spend these 2 days at home with my sisters, watch tv for the whole day... and that was enuff.... =) i still need to get wrapping paper for gift exchange!!! sian...
omg, i saw a cake talking to elmo... and elmo's papa mama! so funny!haha...

arugh, wanted to run today! so nan de for me to wake up early at this time leh!!! but the weather doesnt allow me to!!! saded... hopefully i'll be able to run tml!
**********************************************************************************
by the way, i got a B for my macro!!!
YEAH!!!
i've graduated... FINALLY!!! =D
received lots of msges from friends who are concerned wif my result at 5pm that day, that was so scary~
i felt so so so nervous when i logged in my student portal to check out my result that day, fearing to know that ive failed again... total nightmare seriously... but thankfully no! =D really thankful to all the friends who've msged me... thank you all for your concerns! =)
this sem is definitely better for me and all my friends who are retaking their modules too, everyone of us have cleared wad we have to clear! happiness is everywhere~ heehee....

the next step is.... to find a job!
feel so vexed abt it lately... told myself that the decision i make must be careful... it's not the kind of job that i'll be sticking with for just 1 or 6 months.... its gonna be a serious job! a job that can let me share a bit of my parents burden and feed myself... this is crazy lor... u just feel so eager to lead a better life, get a job, get a pay.... but u are so unsure and unsecure abt everything! hais, i guess i shldnt tink too much abt this but simply just go for it... perhaps things will go better this way... too much worries and hesitation sometimes just complicate things... however, i really must say, the feeling of unsecurity and uncertainty just absurdly come out from no where... ytd, i was feeling really difficult... i almost couldnt breathe.... jiu ming ah~~~ T.T
hais, suan le, just pray that i'll get a good job wif friendly people around real soon! =)

to one of my dear friend: hope u are feeling better now, its always terrible to know that u have to retake a module again, but u'll get over it very soon... cos after feeling so rotten, u'll get motivated to push yourself better... 7 weeks is really fast... if i can do it, u can too...
all the best to u gal!

I love you baby!

2009-12-15T01:32:00.007+08:00

Meet the cutest baby ever.........

My god-daughter!!!

k la, kidding... =(
After leaving Cookies & Monkey for 1 year plus, its been ages since i get a chance to touch toddlers and babies!!!
I was sooo excited this afternoon when hongu said he could bring his niece out for awhile b4 we get to jp! i walked to the meeting place wif an eager anticipation, and finally get the chance to see shermie!!!
baby shermie is not only adorable, she's friendly and smells really nice too!!
she's so charismatic that i fell in love wif this chubby little shermie at the very first sight lor! her eyes are just so innocent and blur, makes me wanna sayang her so much~ hmmmm~ her arms, her legs, her face.... all so round and fair!!! no words can describe my feelings at that moment, i just go 'wah! wah! wah!' the temptation of squeezing her tight in my arms when i carry her, is as much as the fear i have for her to cry in pain..... BUT SHE'S SERIOUSLY SUPER OBEDIENT AND SWEET!!!!
i wanna pester hongu to bring his niece out again next time..... wait for zeh zeh baby! =) wahahahaha.....

**********************************************************************************
results will be out tml!!! im having mixed feelings right now...
can't say that im extremely nervous about the release of the result at this point....yet.
guess that i just dun wish to face the fact that the day is getting closer... i really cant predict on how well or how badly i've done for my paper... like wad i've mentioned before, the macro paper was definitely tougher than the previous intake paper.... however, there was a few qns that i have revised and came out... im just really afraid that there'll be any stupid careless mistakes from me again... gosh, i always get unsure of myself again whenever the date of release of result drew near.... i'll ask myself qns like 'did i tried my best for all the papers during exam?' or ' am i ever gonna make it?'... etc. that makes me a weak person i know.... but one thing for sure is, i'll make sure i'll leave dms wif a diploma cert... i really want to stop this kind of life that im having right now... i need to move on....
tml's gonna be a tough day before the result is release...
im worried. =(
im hoping for the best...

Oorreeeo~ Oorreeeo~ Oreo!

2009-12-09T23:12:00.002+08:00

WOOHOO~~~!!!
i've finally made my oreo cheesecake for the very 1st time!!! =)
been wanting to make one for a very long time, but studies always give me a reason to put this mission aside... now that im having holiday, I have the time to do it at last!! =D

went to supermarket to get the ingredients needed in the early afternoon...
den walked home wif excitement cos i cant wait to do my masterpiece....
the whole process was really fun! i enjoyed working on my oreo cheesecake all by myself! =)
the beating of the mixture was a really tedious job cos i have to beat it manually... because i dun have an electric mixer! =(
however, it gives me a greater sense of sastifaction as i get to see the mixture slowly formed... pretty~ =D

HOWEVER! the pan i used to hold my cheesecake is a bit too big.... so my oreo-based crust was not as complete as i wanted them to be. =(
well, at least it is good enuff to hold the fillings~
there can always be another try next time.
so, never be discouraged xian!
filling was obviously way too much to fit my base crust....
but i cant dump the remaining fillings too, that'll be so wasted. so i ended up pouring all of it on top of the crust.... but it still looks nice! =D

was really excited during the whole 5 hours of waiting for the oreo cheesecake to settle in the refrigerator... brought my cheesecake out of the fridge at around 1030pm...
the appearance is nice but i got so anxious abt the taste of my cake that i slice it in before taking any photos of it! arugh~~~ hais, i'll take picture for the rest of the cake tml then...
mama, xiao mei and i tried the cake... but mama cant appreciate the taste of cheesecake.. aiya, wasted... haha...
xiaomei said it was acceptable though... i find it ok too~ though not as nice as the one i've last tried from ida, my ex-colleague, my oreo cheesecake is passable la~ problem lies with the proportion i guess, too much fillings, made the taste too cheesy... the fillings overflow when i sliced the cake into pieces lor~ =( and i was so thrill to see my 1st 'baby' at that moment, i thought it would taste really great... thus i got myself a big piece of cheesecake, and i nearly puke after finishing it... -.-
really too~much~fillings~le~

i've learnt a really good lesson---- Proportion is the key, xian!
my stomach still feels sick now... =(
my 1st attempt wasnt perfect this time, great experience for me though~
and i definitely learnt my mistakes and have a better idea on the areas to improve for my cheesecake~ i'll make sure i improve on my oreo cheesecake on the next attempt!
i'll get better! wahahaha... =D

Make a new tomorrow.

2009-12-07T01:39:00.003+08:00

IM OLD~~~~!!!!!
seriously,im feeling like an old lady who have gone thru lots... not that ive really been thru a lot yet, obviously.... i mean, nothing can excite me as much as before now..... wad's happening to me again??? arugh.... could it be exams have jus ended thus im having this side effects??? or could it be its been a long time since i meet up wif my funny friends hence explains my moodiness??
shit, i got to stay out of this.... =(

anyway, yay to the end of my exams!!! =)
thou its jus one paper that i need to take, i have to pass it in order to graduate... so the pressure is there... =( im pretty worried this time, paper is harder than the previous sem's one... those guys around were complaining on how difficult the paper was after we were released frm the exam hall... gosh, but i feel quite ok leh... not that i find the paper easy to cope wif, there are some qns that im really unsure of too... but im glad that some questions that i've revised and practised came out... ive put in effort and gave in all i have for that paper... not goin to get an A for macro for sure, but at least i din leave any blank for every qns... i TRIED...
but then again, the rest is up to the marker... im worried abt my careless mistakes! i wish i dun have any! hope they will not be harsh on us! i pray.....

went out wif hongu few days ago... jus some normal meet up... so nothing much to talk abt... but im looking forward to carry the baby next time we meet up! *jumps around* =D

had a fun outing on friday nite! went to PS to have dinner... these guys can really eat like a vaacum cleaner... we finish our meal in less than 1 hr time... impressive.
den we walked to the new shopping mall in orchard... 313! din know the mall is open till the guys say they wanna go... so we went... and the mall is having a 3 storeys FOREVER 21 over there!!! this is so exciting! i wanna go!!!! =) not that im goin to really shop in there though, its just so cool to have a 3 level F21 in sg... cos ive never been to one as big as this! wahahaha...
probably get back there soon...

have to wait patiently till the results are out... i really cant help but to hope for the day to come faster... no, im not excited abt my grades definitely, i jus wanna know the outcome, am i able to graduate or not? if yes i'll start hunting for jobs, if no i'll faint and go back sch again crying but still studying... and of cos i wish for the former one... I WANT TO BE FREE! ROOAAAR!!!

till then, there's a few meet ups coming up wif friends... gonna try to enjoy as much as i can~ dear friends, here i come!

I just wanna say something.

2009-11-23T23:57:00.009+08:00

feeling blue of all sudden...
sometimes i really wonder if i have contracted acute depression... lol...
really stressed right now... i need to find a way to vent out my frustration and unhappiness...
i dunno wad is the reason that causes me to feel so down tonight, and that irritates me even further...
hais... =(

i am and can be more timid and holds low self-esteem than anyone can imagine...
sometimes i dun talk things out doesnt mean i dun care... if you see me laughing over certain issues, it doesnt mean that im trying to avoid something or not taking it seriously... if i din rebuke back doesnt mean im fine or ok wif your decision or opinion...
im simply just afraid to show ppl on how i feel at times...

i do a lot of self-questioning and reflections in my mind every single day... i think and plan stuff in my pea brain every single moment... there will be times i feel so disheartened and feel so difficult that i couldnt even breathe... i just felt that everything is so not going to get better cos i cant even see where im standing now...

i used to feel comfortable wif myself way better than now... wad is happening to me? im no longer be able to laugh wif all my lungs out like i used to... growing up is a tedious process.. i know i have to face it bravely and move on... too much thoughts and troubles have been entering into me life...

i dun like to talk things out oftenly, even though sometimes i may sound like i have told ya enough abt me, there still is, so much more in me that some of you wouldnt even know yet... not that im trying to hide anything from ppl around, but i just have too much stuff to say out... so much that i cant even organise my thoughts accordingly... im a person wif lots of O.S in my mind... but definitely not a hypocrite.... i just tend to show my true self a little slower....

there'll be times when i have so much ideas and plans in mind and dying to hope ppl will hear me out, but im just afraid that ppl will get hurt and either judge or misunderstood me for who i am base on my opinion that is untrue... thus, i step back. i keep to myself in a wrg way. i hold on for the wrg reason. i follow the crowd to think that it'll be a easy way out... however, i ended up as a person wif no opinion... oh yea i do, but only i myself knows it... cos i told nobody.

but one thing that stays me happy for sure is when everyone is please wif the decision made, i'll be happy for all and everything too... having mutual understanding and cooperation when interacting wif anyone is all i ask for... i dislike chaos.

its really terrible when so much worries and troubles are inside your mind and someone is there to remind you every single time... and worst is, aha, those comments does no constructive help at all?!! like seriously.... wth??
but well, sometimes its hard to blame them, we tend to take things for granted especially when it's wif us for a long time that we forgot to appreciate what they have done and sacrifice for us... take our loved ones for example... be it family or friends... we just forgot how much difference they have made in our life and that if not for their presence we could not have been who we are now... shameless to say, very few ppl will keep that in mind... so we tend to throw our displeasures, anger, tough remarks... all on them with no mercy~
cos they are the ones who will accept you for who you are, and hold you grudges no longer than anyone else... we often failed to realise that they actually dun have to take your shit or hear your nasty/non-constructive comments just because ' i experienced a bad day from work today, so mom, i have the right to feel angry.' or ' we have known each other for so long, you shld have know my temper and character, so its ok for me to be straight forward and talk nasty to you. cos true friends shld understand me better than anyone else.'
thats the lamest excuse. and they do nothing wrong to u. very sad.

there will be times when we need someone to be there for us when we are down, happy, lost, confused, angry.... the close ones are the ones for us... its always comforting to know that someone is there for you and be with you to pull you through ur darkest moment... however, there'll be times when you'll forget what your loved ones have done for you after they have helped to pull you out from ur difficult times... so you tend to stomp them flat when u are upset or feel that 'i do this to you becos i care'.... we hurt them unknowingly... some may even not argue back cos they understand our intention despite feeling disappointed with us...

these are some of the things i've been reminding myself every single day... that all these great and amazing ppl who really care and love you dun come easily... that we shld treasure what we have now, and appreciate their presence.... that we shld always put ourselves in their shoes... and treat them better as we can... we shldnt be stingy wif our words, and shld try to give them the recognition and appreciation they deserve... so even when sometimes they really does 'stupid' stuff that gets on ur nerves, we shld always remind the good stuff they have done for us and tell them how much they means to us and how much you love them... may not be easy, but i try my best to place myself in their position to feel what they feel...

just like any typical traditional chinese, i admit that i am not good wif showing affection to my parents on how much i love them and how much i appreciate their effort into building this small little comfort family for me... they may not be rich enuff to buy me wad i want since young, but im really thankful to have such a resposnsible and caring parents who will try their best to provide us wif the best living condition they can give... we may not have fanciful clothes to wear or expensive new toys to play or extra pocket money to spend as compared to other kids since young, at least we own a loving and happy childhood! =)

i din realise how blessed i was till when some of my friends told me how envy they felt when they see my family... i dint really get them at that time.... i was really young then... but i can totally understand them now... =)
i really hope to pass my macro paper and graduate now... i'll go find a job after that..... i'll bring my parents to chinese restaurants to taste real good chinese food.... i'll get them a nice hp.... i'll buy them tickets to go for tour.... i need to work hard in order to accomplish all these.... these are my way of showing my gratitude to mama and papa....
so yixian, jiayou!

and of course, i feel really lucky to have a bunch of good friends who have been sticking through thick and thin wif me for so many years since secondary sch... its my honour to know them and im glad to be able to grow up wif them~
also, the friendship whom ive build in SIM really surprised me... i never thought i can make such a wonderful bunch of friends in this sch... they make things work! without them, my life in SIM will be hell... they are such a kind soul...

i love my friends... i really do...
sometimes i thought i have lost them, but actually i havent...
therefore, i really treasure every moment spent wif them...
they gave me the encouragement whenever i need...
offer me help when they see me struggling and worrying if i can cope myself without me even asking!
i owe them too much...

hongu and lia, you both have given me so so much joy and laughter during this 8 yrs of friendship... i really enjoy the times spent wif u guys... you guys never fail to lessen my worries and burden... encouragements are always given to me unselfishly... help were given in times of needs... these are the friends who really feel happy for you from the bottom of their heart even if u scored C6 for ur o lvl math... lol... they never discourage me and give me sacarsm in a wrg way! they will suan me at the right area which always cracks me up so much! hope our friendship never stops... i pray hard...
kelly, dillon and jasper too, i never expect someone who know you for barely one year to treat you so well... these friends that ive made in sch are really kind, sweet and funny... especially kelly, i never tot a gal can be like her.... a gal so skinny and small in size, yet own such an incredible big heart and a loud voice inside... lol... days when i need to work full-time and study full-time was a total nightmare... i wouldnt be in sem5 without kelly's help... she is too good to be true... that guy who owns her now really jian dao bao~ i hope she's coping well wif her heavy workload too...
dillon is the most talented friend ive known so far... he knows basically everything... mayb cos too rich so can afford to own lots of hobbies... LOL.... this cool guy is another great friend who is really amicable and easy-going despite of what he have... he could have act cool and despise ppl like me who is poor, short, fat, not good in studies...etc, but he dint. lol, so he is a good boy! hope he is coping well in the ns now...
another good boy, jasper... honestly i dun spend as much time wif him as compared to the rest, due to some chances we missed, but he did gave me encouragement from time to time when we chatted on msn too... and a very easy-going guy who says sui bian to everything too... he's entering ns soon, hope he is prepared for what is waiting for him in there!
these 3 wonderful friends that ive made in sch gave me really good memories, i shall never forget those times we've spent tgt in sch.... sometimes i really miss them... hope we can meet up soon~

there are really lots of good friends i want to thank such as judy, geokting, szewei, lujun...etc and friends like caryn, who is so sweet enuff to leave me a comment to encourage me for my previous entry! she rmbs me! but im tired already, and i feel much better talking things out this way even thou its a bit long and irrelavent wif why im suddenly depressed... aiya, i dunno my reason for feeling upset anyway, so i guess ranting out on how i feel helps to lighten my mood!
so yea, thats all for now... im gonna get some sleep and revise again tml!

Lia's Advance Birthday Celebration.

2009-11-21T14:09:00.009+08:00

That was Lia's super advance birthday celebration.

We spent the whole day together.

It was fun. =)

Woke up a little late in that morning to prepare the food for picnic...

Hongu was right, yea, i TRIED to make crepe, but i miscalculate the proportion of the ingredient... so, poor hongu was there to swallow all my failed workpieces! LOL!

We were really afraid of the unpredictable weather in this season, but thankfully, everything turns out fine~ Sun was blazing hot! lol...

We ate. We drank. We chatted. We joked.

That was a good day we shared, it became more meaningful when its lia's birthday...

Got pretty tired after the meal, my mood might have gone higher if not for the tiredness accumulated from the preparation of food since tat morning! IM OLD ALREADY! hais...

I still enjoy the celebration though! =D

The birthday celebration was a 'really simple' one as both of us are really capable of holding cheap celebrations... lol, ok la, but cheap celebrations wif them always brings back memories as we used to do cheapskate activities during secondary sch days too... we still do though... almost becoming a tradition... HAHA..

okok, 21st birthday for our friends next year will be a much better one... for now, we hope that lia can still enjoy it... but her birthday present is still wif me~ =\ hope to pass to her the next time we meet ba...

**********************************************************************************

Restless is the word for this semster.

I want to do something, but i jus felt that i need to get over this hurdle first before i can do the things i want and need to do. I am losing control.

What i see.

2009-11-10T00:22:00.007+08:00

I saw this cute old lady who looked 80% like Edna Mode from The Incredibles in the same bus with me while im on my way to school this afternoon! Though not as fashionable as Edna, she have the same hairstyle and wears a black specs too!

the cutest thing is when her specs begins sliding down almost to the tip of her nose when she was finding herself a seat! aww...

she should be in her 60s already, but still strong enough to chase after the bus! 佩服!
She's.... just so adorable!!! =)

Another incident happened when i was on my way walking back home from the busstop this evening...

this cute little boy was about to hand the few coins with his tiny little hand to the auntie selling ice-cream along the street... the next moment i felt something bypassing me with a speed of a lighting... its the ice-cream boy... =)

i saw an orange plastic bag hanging over the right handle of his bike...

he must be worrying about his melting ice-cream and wants to get home asap so as to enjoy a solid ice-cream, thus explains the bursting speed.... Lol...

been feeling pretty shag lately... i dunno y, but probably partly due to my 'auntie-visit'.... hais...

anyway, i had a wonderful saturday last week... me and hong u held a picnic for lia's advanced birthday celebration... we had fun... hopefully lia enjoyed it too... gonna talk more abt it next time, im in sleepy mode now... ciaos~

Wishing for a big round sun.

2009-10-24T00:27:00.003+08:00

woke up accidentally this morning (technically, shld be ytd morning) at freaking 6:45am!!
tried to get back to sleep but ah man's alarm clock started to ring... i couldn't sleep at all!!! =(
actual plan was to wake up at 7:30am and go for run, but was too tired after waking up so early in the morning, so din run in the end... hais... there was no sun in the morning!! wad a waste! arugh...
anyway, met up wif lujun at jp in the noon time and pass her past semester's exam qns and answers... finally managed to get my shoes! the old shoes im currently wearing now is in a serious terrible stage, the shoe base is almost worn off totally... =\ spent money again.. well, at least i have a lower risk of getting tripped or having shoes to break into half while im walking wif it... old shoes, u're so comfortable to wear and have brought me to so many places~ i'll miss you!

went home at around 2 plus after some window-shopping wif lujun... hmm, weather was kinda warm when i walk home, still enjoy the journey back home wif the company of the sun and my mp3 though... i've been fallin in love wif sunny weather recently, it's funny, i dunno... seems like the older i get the more i tend to appreciate the presence of the sun?? or maybe its bcos of the song in my mp3 that makes me feel good wif the sunny weather? haha.. been listening to farewell my summer love by mj for quite sometime already... but still... the more i listen, the more i love it! i can keep on replaying the track in my mp3 throughout my entire journey for like 1 whole hr, everyday! it is that awesome! at least, for me! really happy! =)

had salad for lunch at home, only managed to finish 1/4 of it... man, the portion was huge! i hate baby carrots, eww~ gonna take a run tml morning wif sis! im feeling really sleepy now, hope im able to wake up early for the run... AND A BRIGHT ROUND GOLDEN SUN FOR ME PLEASE! i'll be grateful! =)

It's gonna be tough.

2009-10-01T00:05:00.008+08:00

HAIZ...
sch's starting tml!!! and my lesson starts tml too!!!
oh no, really dun feel ready yet.
i know i shouldnt be feeling this way, but this holiday seems to be passing way too fast for me to settle down and prepare for sch... not that i've not fail any module b4.. well, i mean, this time round is really different, i was supposed to have graduated from SIM ALREADY. unlike the past few semesters, i can still consider myself lucky to be promoted to the next semester despite failing one module. but this time, i failed macro and it stops me from graduating! arugh, yixian, can u be smarter or even work harder? is this wad u want? look at wad have u done to bring urself into this shit?
this class that im gonna be studying wif seems rather cold towards repeat students based on my past few experience... perhaps they jus feel that there's no need to be friendly wif us since they already have their own clique in the class... well, im just worried abt having problems wif grouping for macro assignment.. cos till now, i still hav no idea whose repeating macro wif me! emily failed law, not macro! how i wish we can retake the same module together... its really scary to be in a place where u dunno any single person! i really dun feel good, but wad else can i do? im the one who causes this disaster, i cant blame anyone but myself... =( i jus hope that everything can go smoothly... really hoping to have no trouble in finding a suitable group for macro and see familiar faces and grp wif them! issit too much to ask for? hmm.. till then i can find a parttime job and start earning money... im feeling empty as i see my bank acct drop... gosh, when will i be able to lead a better life? i miss those days when i can use my ability to earn my own allowance, working hard everyday w/o knowing that pay day is coming soon and have no plans on where and wad to spend yet.... hongu mentioned all these to me few days ago, i have exactly the same thought as him! its good to feel useful, but im feeling like a trash now... -.-
this is really bad... =(
sometimes, i do feel that some ppl is looking down on me, mayb im sensitive, but wad can i say... if only i can pass all my modules in one attempt, i would never feel so inferior, even tried to malign ppl around for looking down on me! im the one who's not up to the standard, who am i to judge them? thats the reality in life man... so yixian, since there's nothing u can do to change the fact that u're starting sch tml, work hard in these 7 weeks and get a good grade for macro! doesnt have to get an A though, i jus wanna graduate! im experiencing "so-near-yet-so-far" now... =(
alright, im tinking, instead of grumbling on how dreadful it is to know that tml is sch, i guess i shld be grateful that sch's finally starting tml? cos the retaking of macro have been haunting after my mind everyday since the moment i get to know my result... now that things are finally gonna get going, it'll be easier for me to decide which decision to make and which steps to take as i move along perhaps... oh man.. pls tell me that life's gonna be easier for me when sch starts tml??! life's been a total mess lately, im really lost! hais...
anyway, i really need to stay positive even though im still a little afriad inside... it'll be hard for me to stop worrying though... cos im always worrying for everything and for no reason... its bad, i know... thats y im trying to change now... if ppl say having a positive mind will help in changing our life into a better one, maybe i can do that too... well, i try~
arugh, im hoping for the best tml! =\

A Sunny day is a Happy day.

2009-09-23T23:36:00.007+08:00

there's something i wanted to blog abt in mind for a long time... but today's weather is too good, and it'll be so wasted for me to skip it, so i've decided to leave the stuff that i've always wanted to blog for some other day.... wahahaha...

woke up at 7.30am this morning by 2 thunderous alarm ringing beside me.
wad a pleasant surprise, i tot i wun be able to wake up this early for jogging as i couldnt sleep last night till abt 5am. woo~ i got up from the bed wif a smile and hurrily get to the kitchen to brush my teeth and wash up my face.... look out from the kitchen window and there comes the sunny weather! the little park situated in front of my blk looked so alive! love the way sun shines onto the piece of greenery. its golden! beautiful. woohoo~ =) turned on the radio and tuned in to class95 while preparing for my breakfast.

Lovely sunny weather + nutella bread & scrambled egg + jason mraz's music = GOOD DAY!

hais, wads more to ask for for a delightful morning like this? seriously, i tink the sun makes a good start for the day... it brightens up a emo person like me easily just like that! ISNT THAT MAGICAL??? HAHA. sounds stupid to know a person like me can actually say that. but, i like! =D well, headed down to the park for a run wif sis,aka yy... love the smell of the breeze, nice~ though its kind of embarrassing to know that we have only run for 4 rounds around the park, and we were panting like hell. haha.. like the warm down exercise today though. enjoy gossiping and making fun of ourselves and the aunties around wif sis. heehee.
went to jp for lunch wif yy in the afternoon. we wanted to take nice healthy meal in banquet but dunno y ended up wif long john silvers combo meal instead leh. how healthy we are wif our diet plan! LOL! all the fats we had burnt in the morning have come back le. -.-

ive been feeling pretty down and confused lately after the release of result on last fri... i dun feel like doin anything now. but i know i cant. and i hate it. i know i need to do something other than working hard for macro.. wad is it? wad else shld i do? i wanna work, but i feel like im trapped. 很辛苦！
i feel pretty good today thou, i guess the good weather this morning played an impt role.
太阳公公，谢谢你。=)
lets hope for a better tml! can i have the same sun for tml too, pls?
and hope i can get up early! =D

Im a worrier.

2009-09-18T01:09:00.006+08:00

received a false alarm from lujun this afternoon...
nearly freak out when she msg me and say result will be out today.
was feeling so lost after that msg cos i wasn't fully mentally prepared for it...
den kelly msged me at 5 plus saying portal says result's gonna come out tml, not today...
PHEW... ok, i know today or tml is not goin to make any difference to my grades but still... haiz...
**********************************************************************************
im born to be a worrier i guess...
i know whats done cannot be undone, i still couldnt help but to feel nervous and worried cos its been so long afterall... i've been worrying about getting through to the next sem after every exam in every semester... now that im already in sem 5, there's no further semester for me to worry about the promotion, i worry about graduating... the thought of not being able to get the cert even after coming so far to sem 5 is really scary... what happens if i fail all? the fees for retaking the modules will be so huge... alright, results are not even out yet and here i am cursing myself already... how great, haha.
few days ago i recalled the answers that i've written for my law paper, i realised that i actually could have given a better answer and explaination! oh dear...... =( mirco is killing me too, not that the paper is that tough, but wif such a great lecturer, failing his moudule again will be really disappointing and so much wasted... for macro, i didnt know it can be pretty interesting until the last few lecture and during the revision... i know wif more effort i can do better, well... ISB is really unexpected, i really cant gauge how well or bad i can score cos the tips given are not that accurate as expected... im hoping for the marker to be generous and kind to us... i jus need to pass, thats all...
this is so bad... how am i supposed to spend my whole day tml without worrying about the result? i know, im not goin to stop worrying till the result is out tml... but, this is torturing... i feel no good at all... =(

Long entry. Im Blessed. Thank You all.

2009-09-11T00:08:00.007+08:00

9th sept 2009
lia and gang held a belated birthday celebration for me and her POP celebration ytd nite.
happened to reach vivo earlier than the expected time.
lia told me to meet her friend 1st but i chose to linger around the photo gallery nearby the toilet instead for the fear of awkwardness. Lol..
few mins past, everyone, except for szewei and huizhen, was finally there and ready to go.
we head down to brotzeit german bier bar restaurant for dinner.
the ambience over there was nice.
we sat, and lia's buddy place the order.
4 dishes was served.
i certainly have no idea what the dishes were called as all the names of the dishes are in german. However, their food was fab i must say.
brotzeit's famous pig's knuckle is really huge, and most impressive discovery is, i never thought pork could taste this way. haha..
i like the sausages, the fries, the mustard, the bread thingy but no, not the beer.
i tot the beer in this restaurant is gonna taste totally different from my daddy's kind of beer. i tot it's gonna taste special... maybe taste like some sort of sweet drinks or something.
but i tink i was tinking too much. haha... like no difference at all leh. =P
it's such a pity cos raymond says their beer goes well with the pig knuckle.
well, i just couldnt accept the taste, cant finish it, too bad lor. haha...
everybody was chatting while i was busying enjoying the meal and listening to their stories and jokes. i tink they tot i was feeling bored, but no worries, i wasnt. in fact, i really had fun listening. =)
asked lia when will szewei be coming cos i rmbed sw called and told me that she'll be late, but i realised she's been pretty late already.
szewei finally reached when the dinner was abt to end.
she brought me present. =)
its a bag from lia , szewei and huizhen! thank you so much girls... really. =)
lia was asking me if i want to order some desserts cos raymond is ordering his.
i told her no, i was really full.
ok, the next moment when i lift up my head or something, i saw the waiter holding onto the cake in front of me. then i hear friends singing birthday song for me.
oh, lia and weng hua say they have actually prepared the cake b4 we met.
thank you weng hua. thank you lia. =)
i feel really.... erm, i cant describe the feeling. its a mixture of joy, happiness, love, touched, appreciative, gratefulness... maybe it sounds a bit exaggerating, but u have no idea how does it feels like to receive such a pleasant little surprise from friends who means so so much to you especially at times when you were feeling really down and really hopeless.
i can look really emotionless sometimes when im feeling happy, sad or angry. maybe i looked calm last nite, but i was having goosebumps on my back when i receive the surprise. the joy i was experiencing inside me is definitely 10 times better than the way i reacted last nite. HAHAHA...
even though its kinda embarrassing to have other ppl staring at you, i appreciate that.. hee..

NEXT STOP: Yellow Jello retro bar.
my 1st time stepping into a bar...
tried their drink, called yellow zlingy i tink.
nice taste.
listened to their band.
nice music.
learnt a new game.
患难见真情。Cecilia Lee Zhao Xuan, i lub uuu! =D
went to the toilet.
nice smell.
too many ppl i dunno, luckily i have szewei. =)

went home wif sw cos find it too late for double o.. we bidded goodbye wif wenghua, head off to the station... sw's bf waited for us at outram. this funny couple helped to end my day wif laughter, thank you sw and yq! =)

this entry is long simply cos i want to rmb every single bit of this lovely day. since ive already mentioned so many thank you in this entry le, might as well say more. ok, thank you lia, thank you weng hua, thank you huizhen, thank you szewei, thank you raymond, thank you.... sylvester? whatever it is, jus wanna thank those who have wished me happy birthday! xie xie!
**********************************************************************************
went to catch The Time Traveller's Wife today wif liyi... i can understand why some ppl dun like this movie. but still, i personally tink that this movie is worth watching. love the kind of love they hold. im touched. =)

Sunshine after Rain.

2009-09-09T00:37:00.005+08:00

i tink i know the reason.
the problem is kinda solved. im relieved. =D
perharps its me, i really need to learn how to talk things out.
that caught me by surprise, im kinda impressed.
im hoping for the best.

thank you all for the birthday wishes.
thank you for remembering my birthday, im really touched.
God bless.
and here i am,
Happy again. =)

I have nothing.

2009-09-07T18:14:00.003+08:00

it's my birthday tml.
im not happy at all.why?
i have no idea.its terrible.

sometimes, saying sorry cant solve the problem, nor would it make you feel better...
u will never learn, never.
habit is. a scary thing.
im not breathing.
i need strength.
u'll never understand.

逃亡

2009-08-26T23:42:00.004+08:00

踩著月光打开车窗
离开这城市想找个解放

一路开往最高那一座山
孤单的想像寂寞的逃亡

我想是偶尔难免沮丧
想离开想躲起来
心里的期待总是填不满
我看著山下千万的窗谁不曾感到失望
就算会彷徨也还要去闯

关于未来只有自己明白
不想让心情被现实打败
一路开往最高那一座山
孤单的想像寂寞的逃亡

我站在靠近天的顶端
张开手全部释放
用月光取暖给自己力量

才发现关于梦的答案
一直在自己手上
只有自己能让自己发光

*编：ansen
it's not that easy...

Happy Birthday Singapore!

2009-08-10T00:15:00.006+08:00

im floating
and the feeling is not good at all...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SINGAPORE! =)

i miss those days when we have to rehearse and perform under the hot blazing sun wif all our hearts out for ndp... hais.

It's Burning HOT.

2009-08-09T00:54:00.000+08:00

我生病了！！！好辛苦呀~~~ =(
i hate the cough syrup... yucks.
friends around me were scaring me with the h1n1 thingy...
was so worried when i visited the doctor ytd, but the doc never say anything leh, jus say i got a high fever... hope everything is fine~
thank you papa for accompanying me to see the doctor... =)
stay up till 2am plus with joanna to wait for grp members to send us their part to compile for our law group assignment last night...
that was torturing! i tot i was about to melt as i was running on a freaking high fever...
im feeling drowsy now, gonna go sleep now...
Get Well Soon, Xian!

Suay Suay Suay~

2009-08-02T03:11:00.000+08:00

its august now!
omg, how come time passes so fast?!
im dead.
i dun understand macro, macro doesnt understand me too!
law is so confusing!
there's still so much things to be done!
3 assignments will be due on this coming week!
oh man! oh man! oh man!
how? how? how?
there's spotcheck today for micro lesson, weili din come for lesson today!
how? how? how?
THIS IS KILLING ME!!!

ma and pa will be home by tml night, hope they had fun...
hais~ hope that i can pull through this difficult time...

We're going to the zoo zoo zoo...

2009-07-28T00:32:00.003+08:00

i dreamt a very funny dream last night.
i was chased by a few lions and cheetahs on a highway... -.-
rushing off assignments till 5am plus is really crazy.
and there's more to come.. damn it!
cant imagine any dream to be more scary than this recent one.

anyway, pretty girls cant really be trusted, i've learnt my lesson.
a real hard one. ouch.
well, maybe not all, but its safer to work wif 'normal' ppl... haha...
丑女万岁。。。=D

R.I.P Michael Jackson.1958-2009

2009-07-09T02:11:00.009+08:00

It's been 2 weeks since Michael Jackson is gone, his memorial service was held on this tuesday in LA...however, the news of his sudden death still remain shocking to me...

its totally unbelievable to hear that michael jackson is dead...

he is only 50 years old, gone too soon!

life is so unpredictable...

im not a huge fan of michael jackson, but still, i feel sad for him...

how can i not? he is a legend and a gifted talent, his entire life is just so amazing with lots of ups and downs... he has got the power, the ability to bring people from all around the world, regardless of different race and religion to come together as one through his music and dance moves.

it seems so hard to accomplish, but he did.

despite being so talented and famous, he is still pure and kind in his heart, helping so many children around the world, making the life of the needy children into a better one...

he is one of a kind.

its a great loss.

nobody can ever replace him.

perhaps what michael jackson's brother, jermaine said was right, "michael was a gift send by the god, but since the world doesnt cherish him, he is taking him away from us..."

but im still glad and considered lucky to be able to witness some of his achievements when he was still alive...

i still remember that i used to idolize michael jackson when i was a kid, he is the first western singer i got to know, still remember there was a time when i was sitting in front of the tv, watchin news about him when he came to singapore for a concert tour... i was really young then... if i was older at that time, i could have go catch his concert cos i know his live performance is definitely goin to be awesome and an unforgettable one...

well, there's no use saying all these now...

i hope michael jackson is doing well up in heaven, i hope he'll feel happier up there where only love and peace exists.. the love and care that he left for the children in the world, his family, his 3 kids,friends and the mother earth will stay forever...

all the good deeds, music and love that he shared with the world shall not be forgotten.

Long live the King of Pop.

May you rest in peace Mr. Michael Joseph Jackson.

The battle starts tomorrow.

2009-07-06T01:57:00.004+08:00

Oh man, this sem is gonna be a very stressful one...
Im so worried! =(

This is crazy.

2009-06-16T23:27:00.003+08:00

ended work at 8pm today...
yeah~ managed to complete a little more work than past few days...
wad time shall i go for work tml then?hmm...
been doin nothing much since holiday started...
oh ya,went out wif friends last fri,cos szewei jus gotten her driving license...
the whole journey was pretty fun, thou i was a little worried for her initially when she tried to figure out how the car actually works... hahaha...
its so funny to hear her swearing at those cars, shld hav film the whole journey down de, then can let her see how many times she had sweared in one night. lucky her,have bf beside her to guide her throughout the whole journey... wahahaha...
and its really sweet of her to insist on driving everyone of us home that night despite of her green driving skills,
"不要啦, 你的家那么多黑人, 酱危险, 我载你到最靠近你家的busstop k!" hahaha...sweet~
anyway, really feel happy and proud of her, szewei can drive! congrats gal! =)

im gonna treat dear kelly and dillon back someday...hopefully soon. =)
i have really kind and sweet and thoughtful friends around me ya know...
kelly, i hope u're enjoying urself over there~ *grins*
*********************************************************************************
ya ya ya, results will be out tml... hais.. so fast... as usual, not confident again...
but im gonna continue in SIM even if i were to do really badly for the paper this time round, cos its already halfway thru the course, finishing soon.. no more questions on to leave or to stay, my mind is set. yes, i'll be staying.staying to complete wad i've started.staying to show my gratitude to all my friends who have helped me so much in my school assignments since sem1 till now...
i know myself very well on how much chances of passing i stand for this time round's exam.
econs is really difficult for me, so much work to do, yet so little time... finance, there's so much to memorise! yea, i cant see myself passing for that paper too. otqm is really hard to say, accidents always happened. so im mentally prepared for the worst outcome le.. MA! i dunno... this time round's paper seems easy, im lucky enuff to hav a few qns which i've studied to come out in the paper... but i always tell myself, never say never.
hais, im really pessimistic.im hopeless. perhaps i shld try to force myself to think positively.
jus like wad geokting told me some time ago, 'so, remove those negative ions and start living!'
its gonna be torturous tml! shall try not to count down to the time of the release of result tml.
arugh, i hate this feeling.

如烟

2009-05-26T22:54:00.004+08:00

我坐在床前望著窗外回憶滿天
生命是華麗錯覺時間是賊偷走一切
七歲的那一年抓住那隻蟬以為能抓住夏天
十七歲的那年吻過他的臉就以為和他能永遠

有沒有那麼一種永遠永遠不改變
擁抱過的美麗都再也不破碎
讓險峻歲月不能在臉上撒野讓生離和死別都遙遠
有誰能聽見

我坐在床前轉過頭看誰在沉睡那一張蒼老的臉
好像是我緊閉雙眼
曾經是愛我的和我深愛的都圍繞在我身邊
帶不走的那些遺憾和眷戀都化成最後一滴淚

有沒有那麼一滴眼淚能洗掉後悔
化成大雨降落在回不去的街
再給我一次機會將故事改寫
或欠了他一生的一句抱歉

有沒有那麼一個世界永遠不天黑
星星太陽萬物都聽我的指揮
月亮不忙著圓缺春天不走遠樹梢緊緊擁抱著樹葉有誰能聽見

耳際眼前此生重演是我來自漆黑而又回歸漆黑
人間瞬間天地之間下次我又是誰
有沒有那麼一朵玫瑰永遠不凋謝
永遠驕傲和完美永遠不妥協
爲何人生最後會像一張紙屑還不如一片花瓣曾經鮮豔

有沒有那麼一張書籤停止那一天
最單純的笑臉和最美那一年
書包裡面裝滿了蛋糕和汽水
雙眼只有無猜和無邪讓我們無法無天

有沒有那麼一首詩篇找不到句點
青春永遠定居在我們的歲月
男孩和女孩都有吉他和舞鞋
笑忘人間的苦痛只有甜美

有沒有那麼一個明天重頭活一遍
讓我再次感受曾揮霍的昨天
無論生存或生活我都不浪費不讓故事這麼的後悔

有誰能聽見我不要告別
我坐在床前看著指尖已經如煙

*作词：阿信作曲；石头
give me some time...

Clueless.

2009-05-20T15:50:00.005+08:00

怎么办？觉得好忧郁。。。
有种难过得说不出话来的感觉。。。
脑袋里反复地摸索着，却也想不出一个所以然。。。
我累到不知道该怎么前进。。。
我的身上被大大的蜘蛛网给套住了。。。
我是怎么了？
救我~~

and they say that everyone are born into this world with a purpose..
i guess my purpose of being in sem4 is not bcos im capable or deserve to be in this sem, im jus here to help my friends to tap cards and lend them notes to copy when they din attend for lectures...
not bcos im sick of doin all these, im willing to and feel glad to be able to help as long as im able to, im jus having doubt in myself again...
i got a feeling, that i wun be able to make it to next sem again...
i see 24th batch waving their hands at me liao... die...
yixian, can you be more negative?
im really sick of you and ur weaknesses...
u have so many good friends around you to help you with ur work all along, can you show some results??
there's so much to study... i wonder if i can do it...
can i?

hold on, xian!
remind urself how did u make it here?
u shld know urself very well, dun give up...
dun let everything gone to waste..

忍一忍，再撑多一下下就过去了。。。

So near, yet so far.

2009-05-09T01:09:00.008+08:00

last piece of assignment handed in today was otqm...
something cropped up this morning...
heng still managed to hand in the assignment on time..
hope jenny will be fine!
FINALLY...
really tired, burnt lots of midnight oils in this sem for assignments...
once again, received quite a number of help and guidence from friends around during the hectic assignment period... really grateful and appreciated! =)
i have no idea y... i tink my brain is not functioning well nowadays... starting to doubt my capability in getting thru sem 4 and proceeding to sem 5... but its like, im halfway here already.. somemore its wif the help of so many friends that have let me come so far... money, time and effort will be so much wasted if i fail to attain what i have to achieve right now... hais...
im feeling a bit restless... exams are coming too..
dear friends in sem 5 are goin to graduate soon.. its so ridiculous to see how fast the time flies...
hais, will i be able to reach that level too?

这个学期里，熬了好几天的通宵。。。
真是个精神极度紧绷的学期呀！！！-.-
很庆幸，自己的身旁有着那么多乐于助人的好朋友和同学们，都在我彷徨又无助的时候向我这样低能的朋友伸出援手。。。哈哈哈。。。
很感激~ 在这里想给予我亲爱的朋友们一个诚心诚意的祝福，希望大家能在即将来临的考试中得到好成绩！！！财源广进！身体健康！心想事成！万事如意！哇哈哈哈~
几天没睡好，感觉肝快要爆炸了。。。今晚要给它睡个够！=）

I hope you dance.

2009-05-01T00:09:00.004+08:00

there's one thing i hope u'll understand.
that not every right or great things u have done have to be praised.
i know u need lots of encouragements and support from others, esp from ur love ones.
however, to be honest, i think ppl still have the right to do wad they think is appropriate.
even if u think they arent doing the right stuff, and believe that wad u did and think is actually correct, that doesnt give u the reason to judge that they are not supportive of wad u're doin right now. we're not kids, always wishing for stickers, stamps, sweets and praises from teacher or daddy mummy whenever we do things correctly or achieve something commendable.
yes i dun deny, by receiving all these treats as an encouragement feels great and does help in boosting ur self-confidence.
but the thing is, we are all growing up le.
face it, u could do a hundred of good deeds or wonderful pieces of work now and have only one or two ppl who can truly appreciate ur hardwork and effort.
other ppl can have a nice loving daddy who can shower them wif care, concerns and love, while u can have a strict daddy who is fierce and always offering you wif canes and scoldings.
y is that so? u may complain 'hey! thats not fair!'
so? life is not, and never fair.
jus as when u're complaining abt how discouraging u are when they din show any support or understand ur thinking and intentions, ask urself, how well do u think u understand them too? try to put urself in other ppl's shoes, pls try. upon reflecting on those stuff which u have done, its not hard not to let others to have doubts in ur capability in succeeding too.
im not saying that i dun trust u, but i really think that there is no need to put up a big fuss wif ur family members over such things.
they are ur family afterall, i believe they do not wish to see u suffer too. yea, i know they may sound a bit harsh or too much with their words, i know its disheartening and painful for u to see and hear them responding this way.. why not transfer your energy and time from complaining into doin something which you really wish to accomplish?
like wad i've told u, perharps this is the challenge post to you by god, to see if u can overcome all these circumstances, to see if u can stay strong and prove to those ppl who think u cant that they are wrong, to make u a better son, a better brother, a better grandson, a better person and perharps, a better man in future?
ur appetite is getting larger day by day, how far can u go?
i know i wouldnt know unless i give u my support and listening ear even if it means to make myself a dull and boring person, i'll still giv it a try.
i know u wun let go without even trying hard to get what u want. and i clearly understand, u're stubborn, and u wun give up. u want to prove to those who doesnt believe in u. i know, i know..
it's a good thing to have a goal in life and be ambitious.
but i truely hope and pray that ur hunger for success will not devour ur true innocent personality completely.
dun forget who give u brain to think?
who give you limbs to move about freely?
who's the one who hold ur hands when u 1st started learning to walk?
who's the one who wipe ur tears when u cry?
who's the one who hold ur hands to write ur 1st letter and ur name?
who's the one who taught to you how to talk when u were urging to communicate to the world as a baby?
who's the one who feed u well when u're hungry?
i know u are disappointed, thus angry. i can see that u do are aware of the reason y ur family is behaving that way, therefore, u shld know what u need to do in order to change their views in u too.
as u are working hard in pursuing ur dream, aspiring to become that somebody, i hope u'll be changing for the good. the main reason for me to support u in doin this is becos i know u want to make it big and prove to those who doubt u, and ultimately, this is something that makes u happy! dun go for success blindly and hurt ur love ones unnoticeablely.
it might be too late for u to realised the precious things which you have lost when u finally make it.
don't make me feel that i dunno u anymore...

Hold On.Stay Strong.

2009-04-24T02:09:00.004+08:00

撑下去

Get Well Soon, Lia!

2009-04-17T18:01:00.009+08:00

Receieved a shocking msg when i jus board the bus this morning..
lia met a car accident on wed, she fell off frm her bike and was sent to tts hospital for operation and is discharged today..
my whole body frozen when i read the 1st sentence, so worried that wen hua is goin to tell me something bad has happened to lia.. luckily not.
though she broke her ring finger but i guess its already considered a bless le, things could have gone worse with car accident. jus get to see her few weeks ago during the bbq session, din expect to hear from her again with this bad news.
still remember the 1st time she gave me a ride on her phantom around my house estate, the feeling of getting on a bike is so strange lo.. jus a helmet on my head, nothing else to protect my whole body, felt so naked. but at the same time i was able to enjoy the breeze and the smell of excitment & thrill too, that experience was unexplainable. however, when comes to accidents, riding a bike becomes scary le...
haiz, hope lia is resting comfortably at home now.. informed hongu immediately after the msg.
i guess if nothing goes wrong we'll be visiting her tml.. haiz.. know her for so many years le, but only get to know her injury when she's discharged, damn guilty.. aiya, mei shi jiu hao...
hope she'll recover fast. =)
**********************************************************************************
slept at 5am today.. heng i managed to wake up at 8am n reach sch on time. if not 5 persons attendance will be mark as absent le.. haha... super stress lo~

Im a gal with wisdom.

2009-04-15T00:00:00.003+08:00

I got 2 wisdom tooth!
the pain is terrible when its acting up, esp the one on my left side. =(
looking at the brighter side, its a good chance to slim down eh! =)

ホントはね- 奥村初音

2009-04-12T02:00:00.006+08:00

「沒問題」是個很方便的詞語
曾幾何時我成了說謊者
「妳好堅強哦」雖然你這麼說
剛寫的MAIL 卻是無法語明的心聲
強壓著期待和理想在身上
裝作大人模樣的正義
無罪有罪我不知道
暖昧且壞心的現實世界
「沒問題」是個很方便的詞語
曾幾何時我成了說謊者
每當被問到「妳沒事吧?」
曾幾何時連笑容都忘了
一個人彷徨著
其實我是在逞強
我是為何而在這裡的呢?
若是留神注意今天我也正漸漸消失
計算道理最討厭了
明明不需要老套的話語
是敵人?還是同伴? 我不知道
這個溫柔又壞心的現實世界
「沒問題」是個便利的詞語
怕受傷害所以成了說謊者
胸口顫抖得甚至聽得到聲音
沒有留神連哭都忘了
隱藏著傷口
走過紅綠燈街口
**************************************************
长大后第一样需要拥有的东西不是金钱，也不是车子。
而是一副面具。

A day.

2009-04-06T22:11:00.003+08:00

EDM jus arrived today!!
thank you szewei... wahahaha~

i know there's lot more to come...
perhaps by walking backwards towards the goal, things will be much more easier cos i see no fear?

2nd day in Sem 4

2009-04-03T00:21:00.003+08:00

today's lesson: finance and MA..
been studying in school for the whole day...
tired leh, but cant sleep, lots of thoughts running inside my mind.. =(
finance lecturer is different from the previous sem..
and i learnt carrot vs stick from this finance lecturer today. how cool is that? -.-
miss janice is teaching me MA!!
i know she's good in teaching, but the rest really depends on me..
hais, stress luh!

Sugar Dandy~

2009-04-01T17:32:00.002+08:00

I came across this video yesterday...

Had a good laugh while watching it! Millie Small is so adorable wif her funny expressions! =D

Im bobbing to all her songs lately! =)

Bad Hair Day!

2009-04-01T16:58:00.002+08:00

its my 1st day of school in sem 4...
1st lesson was microeconomics...
tink will get harder as we move on...
hais...
Projs are coming!!! =(
jia you, xian!
***********************************************************
gone to get myself a haircut after lesson today...
piang, that guy cut my fringe till so short!
even thou my forehead is high, there is no need to show everybody that de ma... -.-
i tot i looked fine wif that short fringe when i wasnt wearing specs...
i was wrong...
in fact, i looked like an ah dai when i look at myself in the mirror after wearing specs lo...
da mei was callin me ah dai when i reached home too.. =(
bad hair day luh...
aiya! dun care le la, i shld be worrying for my studies now le.. die~

Arugh! Im in Sem 4 now!!!

2009-04-01T00:18:00.004+08:00

Wah~~~~
went back to sch to collect my lecture notes n pay for my repeat module..
hais, 300 bucks fly le~ =(
and after scanning thru all those notes for sem 4, im really scared n worried lor.
so much work to do for assignments, all modules so difficult, still have MA to deal wif!
i very scared i cannot cope leh!!! =(
den still got suan-ed by lujun for my poor results! i so sad liao still add oil.. =(
cant believe, sch's gonna start tml le.. want to rest more oso cannot...
im feeling restless cos i know the new sem is goin to be hectic n crazy!
assignments will pile up like mountain, got to stay back for discussion n stuff after class again..
Arugh~~~
but den on the other hand, i know i should feel blessed and be appreciative wif wad im able to do now... its sem 4 le, i really tot i couldnt make it till sem 4 initially...
who knows..
i really want to thank all my friends who hav helped me along the way...
be it friends ive made in SIM, or my old friends, they really helped in encouraging me n pull me thru those difficult times..
thank you kelly dillon and jasper for being there, they make school life in SIM a wonderful and sweet one.. i tot it'll be hard to make good friends in SIM but after meeting them i realised im really lucky lo..
if not for kelly's unselfishness in helpin me wif my schoolwork, i guess i wun be here in sem 4 le.. if not for dillon's persuasion, askin me to stay in SIM to give myself one more chance, i guess i wun be in SIM now too.. and jasper, thou not as talkative as dillon, he wld still give the encouragement needed in times of needs. =)
even for people like hong jie, dorcus, elvin, weili... thou im not that close wif them as compared to kelly and friends, they are still willing to offer to help too.. if not for them i tink i'll suffer from sudden death due to the increasing pressure gotten from assignments lor... Really grateful to these friends around me who have help me out for the past few semesters... im thankful to have them around... =)
friends like szewei, geokting,siokeng and joey, thank you for offering to help and thank you for all those encouragments and concerns!
they are great friends who is willing to offer their help as long as its within their limits, even thou they dun hav to. super touched.
so, yixian, stop askin urself to give up le, be more positive and stay strong! see, so many friends have helped u wif ur schoolwork in order to come so far, must chiong in sem 4 ah!
hais, i will de... but im really worried if i can cope wif all 4 modules leh! scary~
Jia You ah xian!!!!!!!

2009-03-25T03:32:00.001+08:00

Baby tell me 如果我離開
Oh 要是我不再與你合拍
再不會有我在這里等著你
再沒有我的安慰
我會心碎
只剩下我每一天每一天在回味
失去你失去愛
世界不再美

BUTTONS UP!

2009-03-20T00:06:00.005+08:00

Went to PS today...
spent quite some time in SPOTLIGHTS for DIY materials...
materials over there are selling at quite an expensive price...
BUT, im SO crazily into BUTTONS lately!
i found many cute buttons over there lor, so overwhelm by the different sizes, colours, shapes and designs of buttons they have!
but i din manage to find the ones i really need and buy the ones i really like cos buttons are really not that cheap. =(
anyway, i got a few buttons frm SPOTLIGHTS after spending a great deal of time choosing the ones i think is special and the ones i think is worth buying. Total cost was around 4 bucks.
i was tryin hard to convince myself to give up buying on some other buttons, cos im really broke now.. =( and ya, my well-trained self-control ability works in the end. hais...
im goin to look for more stuff for DIY to spend my holidays wisely!
**********************************************************************************
AND, i know, results will be out tml..
Hais. and again, super low confident...
i roughly know where i stand in this exam already, so i'll be pretty calm when i receive my results tml, i guess? but for sure, the waiting time for the result slip to be fully loaded on screen is torturing!
yes, every secs of it sucks.
ROAR~~~
aiya, im feelin rotten.

Few pics.

2009-03-16T03:45:00.001+08:00

i dunno wad is this vehicle call, supposed to be driven by medic if im nt wrg..

but it looks kind of cute to me~lol

these old pair of boots..

different ranks..

NS man, i salute u ah!

p/s: holding a rifle gun is really no joke, i din expect them to weigh so heavy! my arms are aching, ouch.

Sad Entry.

2009-03-16T02:04:00.005+08:00

ahhs..
im having holidays now~ feeling kind of slacky and restless, i want to do lots of stuff, but i dunno where to start off wif?!!
and arugh, ended my exam quite some time ago.
quite shitty i must say. FA paper is rather tricky in some ways. MA, tsk! i din manage to do enough practise.. i know i shld go bang wall, but slow learner like me really needs more time to practise ah.. HR, i memorise all those facts n diagrams like hell.. lastly marketing, i jus give wad i have learnt and memorised,and again, accidents always happen.. to me! chances of me getting a F is not a surprise anymore. sian.
well, i've prepared for the worst. and am currently looking for suitable jobs for myself as i know percentages of me gettin into next sem is really low.
the thought of me not being able to get thru sem 3 kept flashing pass my mind ever since i started my revision. i know i shouldn't, but i jus couldn't help it. when u loses confident in the stuff u do, u'll tend to think of the negative side wad.. u have to think of a hou lu for urself oso..
during the revision break,i kept askin myself, wad should i do if i really were to flunk out from SIM.
im still searching the answer myself.
friends who feels angry after reading it, pls dun be. im trying to search. im searching... shhh
the results will be out soon in few days time..
and yea, im hopelessly pessimistic about the outcome.

i want to bake.
do DIY.
catch up wif friends.
make money.
save money. (my fav hobby)
learn guitar.
have a skill.
be happy. =) (and so many people put they want to be happy in their blog lor, sounds easy but its not lor!)

i jus found out that, being able to save lots of money from my hard earnings makes me feels peace and high! hohoho! last time i always thought im saving purely for the sake of SIM, but seems like is has become a favourite pasttime for me le! wahaha!!
but, im broke now leh. =(
looks like someones got to find a nice suitable job soon after the results have come out! yixian ah, since there's nothing u can do about changing the grades for ur upcoming results, go start lookin for jobs now and start to change the balance in ur bank account le!
im tryin to sound normal, even though its really sad to leave that stupid sch w/o getting a decent cert after payin them so much money...

蜗牛

2009-02-26T23:38:00.008+08:00

該不該擱下重重的殼　尋找到底哪裡有藍天
隨著輕輕的風輕輕的飄　歷經的傷都不感覺疼

我要一步一步往上爬　等待陽光靜靜看著它的臉
小小的天有大大的夢想
重重的殼裹著輕輕的仰望

我要一步一步往上爬　在最高點乘著葉片往前飛
小小的天流過的淚和汗　總有一天我有屬於我的天

我要一步一步往上爬　在最高點乘著葉片往前飛
任風吹乾　流過的淚和汗

我要一步一步往上爬　等待陽光靜靜看著它的臉
小小的天有大大的夢想
我有屬於我的天

任風吹乾　流過的淚和汗　
總有一天我有屬於我的天

*作詞：周杰倫　作曲：周杰倫　編曲：黃雨勳
step by step...

希望有个小小虫。。。

2009-02-19T01:10:00.005+08:00

我希望我身旁的每一个人都能找到对的人。。。
可以拥有该得到的幸福。。。
有耐心等待的人，总有一天会等到那个她或他的。。。
朋友，加油！=D

Funny weather

2009-02-16T02:13:00.010+08:00

Haiz...
Wads wrong with the weather nowadays? The air smells funny these days.. especially in the morning! Im feeling different everytime i woke up now leh... I dun like this feeling.. Smells so wrong~
And, dunno y, i got this funny feeling that im not goin to do well for the exam paper in this sem, might not be able to continue in SIM!! Really, it just came out of all sudden, so shitty lo.. haiz... =(
Was helping my da mei to get rid of the irritating small lizard in the toilet jus now... the lizard so smart lor, know i wun and dun dare to kill him, din run for his life when i uses the pole to scared him sia.. haha..

小虫有牠用途牠用自己摔下的痛苦换我幸福
也许相爱是这样有人快乐就有人受伤别紧张
像我这样那么平凡一张大众脸
从来没人愿意多看我一眼
可是在人来人往之间却有小虫还我心愿
要感谢这小小虫给我机会这是我初次尝到恋爱滋味
感觉好奇怪好像伤害了谁
或许我太坏把小虫摔下来去换你的爱

My bone is cracking~

2009-02-12T03:12:00.004+08:00

Its been quite some time since i last blogged le..
been busying with school assignments..
finally, last piece of assignment was handed on HR lesson ytd..
PHEW~
101% grateful to friends who have helped me in completing my assignments..
超感动的。。。
Now, i guess im having problem with sleeping early..
Project period is always hectic and stressful.. i tink im used to sleeping at late hrs liao...
die...
aiya, i go try sleep now

CNY

2009-01-27T18:24:00.006+08:00

Woohoo~
its the second day of CNY!
Ate lots of cookies and meat..
i tink im getting sorethroat soon... ahem...
hope by drinking more water can help to lessen the pain im having right now in my throat..
had steamboat with my jiu jiu, jiu mu and cousin bros ytd..
dinner was nice...

played sparkling sticks with my da mei and xiao mei yesterday!!!

my da mei...

my xiaomei....

my funny da mei...

been so long le, still can light up!!! =D

hais, and now, im having slight running nose... im so scared~ =(

恭喜！恭喜！

2009-01-26T01:35:00.001+08:00

Moooo~~~
Happy 牛Year!!!
It's Chinese New Year today...
Ate lots of meat during the reunion dinner yesterday, so full~ -.-
Wish everyone 恭喜发财、万事如意、身体健康、学业进步！^______^

Im walking on sunshine!

2009-01-23T00:15:00.004+08:00

最近的太阳好大、好烈。。。
风，刮得好大。。。
可是近日我发现，自己身旁的事物都变得很美丽耶~ =)

Finally~

2009-01-20T03:48:00.002+08:00

我终于做完了~~
好累啊~~~
T.T

結了婚會幫老公賺錢的星座女

2009-01-14T20:41:00.002+08:00

NO.1 處女座
處女座的女人很有生意頭腦，她們在數學方面其實很聰明，會精算，最重要的是她們很懂得物盡其用的道理，身邊的人脈也好，多餘的物資也好，只要是眼前能看到的，她們都會想辦法把它們整合利用起來，而且她們野心不大，不會一門心思怎麽去做大，所以通常也不容易虧本。

NO.2水瓶座
水瓶座的女生個性非常的獨立，她們不會因爲結婚了就放棄自己的事業，而且她們做事業不是那種很物欲或者很有野心的想要賺多少錢，她們是自己爲自己活的那種人，她們更多的會爲了自己的喜好或者興趣去做事業，尤其是在嫁了人之後，她們會比較沒有心理包袱，這種輕輕鬆松，專心致志的狀態反而是最賺錢的。

NO.3魔羯座
魔羯座的女人很能吃苦耐勞，看起來不怎麽有個性的她們其實很有自己的主見和想法，不會隨大流，在股票買賣或者房産投資都能夠有比較穩健的收穫。並且，如果她們本身是有一定專業能力的話，一方面她們會在結婚之後依然兼差賺錢養家，並且在小孩年紀大點之後，憑藉她們腳踏實地的專業修煉，她們還可能在她們的專業領域做出一番事業。

NO.4牡羊座
牡羊座的女生如果選對行業的話，她們是很有發家潛力的。因爲她們對自己感興趣的事情會非常努力，百折不撓，長期堅持下去會很有收穫。而且她們性格豪爽，人緣會不錯。她們是那種年紀越大，事業會開拓的越好的人，年輕的時候可能還會因爲莽撞而錯失不少機會或者弄巧成拙，但是年紀大了之後她們做事會越來越有分寸。

NO.5射手座
射手座的女生得看情況，她們有點勞碌命，天生愛折騰。但是不一定是折騰在事業方面，也有可能是在社區公益啦，或者料理家事等方面，如果她們的老公很能幹很會賺錢，她們也樂得在家當太太，但是如果老公能力一般或者不會賺錢的話，她們就會扛起家計，奮力賺錢養家。

Hmm.. quite accurate except for the math part, my math is never good but i like to count money though~ haha.. Good, i can be useful to my future husband liao.. wahaha!!

Few thoughts

2009-01-13T18:28:00.004+08:00

i really have to complete one of my assignment by today no matter what. Mr Guk called last night.. i can understand what he mean and how he feels.. well, sometimes things just wouldn't go what we want them to be. i just hope things can get better, chinese new year's coming ya know? Lol..

Went through a long day today..
Morning lesson really drained me out.. Marketing stress me out..
i cant give up, i musn't. i know i know..
Im tired, but so is everybody.
People out there might be working hundred times harder than me now, i should learn from them. Just by thinking of those undone projects and assignments can already make my blood pressure goes up.
Dunno how to start, dunno how to digest, dunno when will i be able to complete everything.. Im lost, pretty lost. I must hold on. I know, I know..
I may not have good brains, but i can be hardworking to pull myself thru.. I may be slow, but i can have determination to perservere thru.. Yixian ah yi xian.. u gotta learn and understand ok?

Din went for Andy's funeral this morning..
Was struggling between whether to go for morning lesson or his funeral, i chose school in the end..
Hope Andy won't mind.. Sorry Andy..
I wun forget this funny guy..

R.I.P

2009-01-12T18:18:00.004+08:00

Received a msg from Tara this morning when i was having my breakfast..
Really shocked me..
Andy is gone le.. He jumped off from building this morning..
I really can't believe it..
Life is so fragile.. So so so fragile..
We used to bicker and joke around almost every time we work together. Tara and i used to have so much fun talking about him. I used to listen to so much of his complains about the work. We used to play around wif nareeni whenever we do closing during weekends...
This person, is now gone forever.. His parents should be feeling extremely heart-broken.. This coming chinese new year must be the most miserable one they ever gonna have... Minghui too, his best buddy ever, must be feeling depressed after hearing the news.. No matter what, i hope all his loved ones can pull through this difficult time and carry on with their life soon..
May you rest in peace andy...

Pain and Fear

2009-01-09T00:48:00.007+08:00

Went for a jog with sze wei yesterday evening after my lesson..
was supposed to meet her at jurong west sport complex stadium, but blur me, actually alighted at the wrong bus-stop..
-.-
haha.. i ended up walking to the stadium, met szewei at the bus-stop nearby...
we got there, get myself changed, put our stuff inside the locker, anyhow do warm-up exercise~
den begin to run...
i should have do proper warm-up before i run lor, i got stomach cramp after just one round of jogging! damn disappointed with my performance, stamina really dropped tremendously. can't even run 5 rounds lor. it's been like about 1 and a 1/2 year since i last jogged le...
is it because that im growing older? or im just lack of training?
waste all my well-trained stamina during my secondary school days le...
best is im now having muscle ache on my both my thighs... i got a cramp on my right thigh this morning when im walking up the slope to school.. really painful~~~
both my thighs is aching every now and then lor, especially my right thigh, get cramp whenever i uses too much force on climbing up the stairs or even brisk walk..
i need my stamina back!!!

feeling quite guilty today, din stay in class for the full lecture, left the class even before break starts... but seriously, they say jaabar's lesson need to go home to learn by ourselves again one, i've went thru topic 1 jus now.. hmm, still ok la.. nvm, will attend 2nd MA lesson on sat.. today is jus a exceptional~ yes, except for today only~~

我好怕。
怕自己无法在两个月内应付四科科目。
怕自己无法在限定的期限以内完成那么多的专题作业。
怕FA又会再次不及格。再次不及格就无法继续就读了。
怕自己毕不了业。拿不到文凭，找不到好的工作，就不能分担家人的生活费和减轻生活负担，好让老爸老妈放心。
怕自己不中用。

努力！努力！再努力！！！

2009-01-05T01:04:00.003+08:00

This is my goal for this year...

Yes, 我要努力向上！！！

Few more hours to go before school starts again!!!

2009-01-05T00:14:00.003+08:00

Something happened few hours ago... like just happened yesterday only?
Hais, dun wish to talk about it..
quite shocked and hurt.. =(
need to start school with a fresh mind!

Was pretty touched after reading Mr Guk's recent blog entry..
He's really a good friend..
Hope his problem can be solved soon.. =)

La La La 闷 song~

2009-01-04T01:57:00.009+08:00

And it's 4th january 2009 now...
4th day of 2009.. hmm, and that means, school is starting tml!!!
Arugh......
im feeling lethargic, restless, bored, worried, confused...!!!

4 modules to take in sem 3!!
I MUST WORK VERY HARD!!! AND I HOPE I CAN BE MORE DISCIPLINE AND PRO-ACTIVE IN THIS SEM!!!
Im super broke now~ sad life man...
look at how pathetic i am!
studies no good, no money, so fat somemore!!! -.-

okay, i shall start to hypnotize myself that school's gonna be fun and exciting wif all the lecturers and friends around..
hey... did i mention, friends?
my dear kelly is in sem 4 now lo!! den trixie has gone to seek a new path.. no gals i can talk to in class liao... =(
Dillon!!! this 公子哥, will only be back for sch on 6/7th jan from south africa!!!
dunno wad can he do there.. watch lions and tigers ba..
Good, leave me alone on the 1st day of school in sem 3.

aiya, forgot to tell him to be careful while taking photos of the wild. In case he got too engrossed with the wonders of nature and the wild, in order to take pictures that is filled with life and passion, he start to lean his body forward in his jeep to take a closer pic for the tiger... then, alas! he fell into the bushes...
3 kind of scenarios could happen...

Scenario 1:
Dillon fell from his jeep into the bushes and den his body roll and roll and roll.. unfortunately hit his head against a rock.
Hours later, a lioness walked pass him and exclaimed: Oh boy, what is this funny looking creature laying over here? wad kind of animal is he?
The lioness actually had a miscarriage 3 days ago. Thus, she believed that Dillon was actually sent down by god to her as a gift.
So, she decides to adopt Dillon and treat hm like her own son.
When Dillon have come to conscious, he actually lost all his memory... Therefore, he believe that he is the son of the lioness and begin to behave like a lion.
Few years later, Dillon succeeded his foster father, and become the Lion King.

Scenario 2:
Dillon fell down from the jeep and luckily he wasn't badly hurt. However, as he was about to get back to his jeep, he saw a lion running towards him!
He knew himself that there isn't much time left for him to get back to the jeep as the lion was running like a bullet train. To ensure his family's safety, he decides to sacrifice himself. He begin to run to an opposite direction away from the jeep to lead the lion away from his family. The lion was fast, within less than a minute time, he was on top of Dillon already! Dillon uses his entire force to fight with the lion. After hours of struggling and fighting, the lion was found dead!
Dillon actually killed the lion! From that day onwards, people all call him, Dillon the King.

Scenario 3:
Dillon fell off from the jeep and lion saw him, run towards him den dillon din manage to hop on the jeep on time... Tragedy~

Lol.. joking joking la... Im so lame can.. very stress ma, sch starts tml leh!
so joke around to lessen the pressure lo.. haha..

Hais...
Hope i can cope with 4 modules.. Please pass Financial Accounting!!! PLEASE PASS ALL MODULES IN SEMSTER 3!!!
I want my diploma certificate by September 2009!!! =(

Im tired. Entry is dis-organised. My entry is never organised.

2009-01-01T03:15:00.005+08:00

It's 2009 today!!!
Gosh, time flies... and it flies like rocket! No, should be, zooms like rocket.
Tsk tsk tsk... what have i been doing for the past one year in 2008?
Been busying working and studying I guess.. that was the only 2 things i can rmb, hais.
Was especially worn off during my semster 2 in SIM...
Heavy workload plus very packed studying schedule..
Perharps that was one of the reason why i find 2008 to bypass me so fast?
Was living like a living dead corpse eversince i started schooling.. I guess i still am~ -.-

Maybe i'm not that capable to cope with pressure and handle multi-task that well yet, if i have the ability, i could have actually do well in studies despite for the heavy workload too. By saying work is the main cause for me doing badly in sem 2 might not be 100% accurate. I think i should be responsible for that too, anyway, i chose the path, i should settle it myself in my own way, and hopefully correctly.. Oh well...

Now, 2009. Seriously, my mind will be blank if someone were to ask me wad will i be expecting to get for myself in 2009. But, of cos i know i should work hard for my diploma cert which i will be hopefully be getting around this yr's sept... if , everything goes as smoothly as it can be.. AND, by saying smoothly, it means no retaking of modules after each sem, no problem in paying school fees, financially-stable myself, no conflicts in group work in every projects...etc.

But, if i were to graduate after getting my diploma, wad would be next? I've been searching for an answer for a very long time.. wad would be my aim in life like? i always asked ppl around me, some say graduate from sch lo, some wld say go uni, go find job wif gd pay, find partner...
hmm, thats all? i mean are all these aims supposed to be a motivation for them to work hard?
I know there's nothing wrong with having amibitious goals or simple aims in life. But, at this age, im pretty tempted to try on anything that im interested in, like even if it doesn't work for me in the end but at least i've tried and gain an experience for myself. However, somehow, there are some part of me that is afraid of trying. Not exactly that im scared of failure.. i mean, hey, i've been facing and getting dunno how many times of failures in life already lo, how scary can it be? lol..

Perharps i lack the motivation and confidence.. My confidence level has never been high throughout my 19 years of living.. i dunno the reason myself either.. lol.. i hope in 2009, i can be more courageous and confident in everything i do!

庆祝又在开花了的小花~ =）

2008-12-29T00:41:00.008+08:00

庆祝是一定要的啦！！！

美美的灯饰悬挂在餐厅的天花板上~~ O.O

首先上桌的是有汽草莓饮料~
原以为这是杯特别炮制的健康无汽饮料，没想到园丁儿们第一口所尝到的却是---汽！！！-.-
算了，至少味道还不错。。。
来，里外不一的草莓汽水，拍个照！

过了几分钟后，开胃菜上桌了！！！YEAH~
yum yum yum... ^^

开胃菜才刚上桌，主菜就来了。。。
将将将将！！BBQ chicken supreme pan pizza!!!
其实仔细一看，皮萨上以经过两个园丁们的加工，起司已被他们放纵地、挥霍地，狂撒在皮萨上了。。。嘿嘿~

食物都终于吃完了，饮料也喝完了。。。

但是

其中一名园丁还想叫杯雪糕

所以

他们叫了。。。

是杯奶味很重的m&m 雪糕 =S

吃完雪糕后，休息了一下下。。。

好了，买单！=D

过后去了游乐场，花了八块在夹玩具上！！！

骗人的，都夹不到的咯。。。 =(

花了两块钱在打鼓游戏，糊里糊涂的园丁们不小心选了个超高难度的曲目，超快的节奏让园丁们差一点把鼓棒都给打断了！！哈哈哈。。。

十二月二十八号对于小园丁们来说是个意义重大的日子,因为小花的花种是在两年前的这一天被栽种的~ ^^

所以在每年的12月28日的日子里，他们都会有个小小的庆祝，答谢彼此对彼此的照顾、关爱与关怀。。。当然，今年也不例外！已经是第二年了。。。希望小花能在两位小园丁儿们的照料下，健康的成长、琢渐强壮，继续的散发出淡淡却又持久又芬芳的花香~~

小花香香~

2008-12-28T02:59:00.008+08:00

一年一度，期待已久的小花朵终于在今天即将慢慢的绽放了!
两位小园丁都为这朵能再度绽放的小花感到开心与欣慰。。。
这是小花第二次开花了~
花儿的香味淡淡的，但味道却能让两位小园丁的心情安稳和舒适。
花粉香味不需浓郁来让人对它的印象深刻，淡淡的花香已能足于让人感到心旷神怡。
两位小园丁们天天为小花施肥、浇水。。。
当其中一位小园丁生病时，另一位小园丁就会更加呵护这朵小花，让小花继续感受到两人份的关怀与关爱。
因为小园丁们深怕若疏忽照料小花，它就会枯死。所以两人从培育到种植，都是很用心栽培的。
终于，在小园丁们的细心灌溉下，小花儿又再次开花了！！！
能闻到淡淡却持久的花香，两位小园丁已心满意足。。。
期待着花儿的下一次绽放！
小园丁们，加油哦！=)

Goodbye Santa!!

2008-12-26T00:30:00.002+08:00

After scanning through all the cheap cheap pirated dvds on the table..

Stupid Singaporean guy: Eh, all these dvds clear or not?

Pirated dvd seller: CLEAR! VERY CLEAR~

-.-
What is this guy thinking sia? It's pirated dvd!! Selling at cheap price somemore, how clear can he expect? HD quality?? And the seller of cos say clear la, if not say very blur meh~ sell flower say flower fragrant ma..
haha...
There's a chinese saying that goes,一分钱一分货..
You get what you give!
wahahaha... just want to blog for the sake of blogging today~~

Christmas is over le.. =(

Merry Christmas~

2008-12-25T02:47:00.002+08:00

I don't want a lot for Christmas
There is just one thing I need
I don't care about the presents
Underneath the Christmas tree
I just want you for my own
More than you could ever know
Make my wish come true
All I want for Christmas
Is you...

=)

Dear Santa...

2008-12-24T23:54:00.002+08:00

the time now is 11:54pm..
it's Christmas eve!!!
faster type my wishes..

Dear Santa,
Please grant my little wish please..
Though my studies have not been good, but at least i tried hard on every paper i do and i work very hard to earn money for my own expenses too..
Can say ive been pretty good as a child this year..
My wish for this christmas is to get a diploma certificate smoothly without having retaking any exams anymore.. Hope my financial accounting can pass this time round.. It's my last chance.. Help me please?
If possible, can u make my life easier a bit? Im not working right now, but i hope i can find a good job that is enough for me to carry a living throughout my whole schooling life yet enabling me to cope well with my studies..Maybe not now, but after my semster 3?
This is it. Thats what i want for christmas..
Can you grant my wish santa?
Thank you santa.
I wish you a very happy Merry Christmas!
Muack! ^^

Love,
yixian (singapore)

Tang yuan day~

2008-12-21T20:44:00.002+08:00

Today is dong zhi, 冬至!!!
sort of a reunion dinner for chinese oso~
not forgetting to eat tang yuan too!
wanted to eat the amount of tang yuan same as my age de,cos its a tradition ma.. but halfway scoping the tang yuan i realised i need to scope 19 tang yuan!!! haha, i told my da mei n she say ''huh,if wai po eating den she need to eat 70 plus tang yuan meh??!'' haha... true hor~
today my wai po and jiu jiu and jiu mu and cousin bros came my house to have dinner...
jiu mu came down to my hse to help mama prepare dinner..
my house is so small, my cousin bro n da mei dun hav place to eat, got to find a space to eat elsewhere.. hohoho.. my house is so 'cosy' can.. haha.. =)
my cousin bros are so tall now lo...
ate a lot for dinner...
full until i cannot stand sitting...
wahahaha...
i want to have some more bai zhan ji next time!!! woohoo~
meeting pri sch friends tml!!! hope tml's meet up will be fun! =D

Big Big Hole~

2008-12-19T23:42:00.003+08:00

Big Big Hole lo....
really... bought a lappy yesterday with the company of my da mei..
$1198.. but considered e cheapest in the shop le..haha..
nah mind la, can use happy le.. no need too fanciful functions..
wait till i graduate den say ba..
hais... still have school fees to pay...
got to eat less less, walk more more to save money for the next few semester le..
jia you yi xian... T.T
hmm, catch Twilight 2 days ago..
super nice..
kelly was saying it'll be real convenient to hav a bf like edward..
want to go where jus let him piggy-back can liao.. fly so fast~ haha..
looking forward to Twilight 2.. =)

debit bank acct/credit expense..ahem..

2008-12-16T18:12:00.004+08:00

Y are there more and more people taking up accounting leh?
haiz...
i hate numbers...

No title

2008-12-15T01:14:00.002+08:00

Can't believe...
that result will be out soon..
super low confident...

**************************************************
Jp is so happening now with its new extension!!!
so many new shops in the mall lo..
can get things without heading down to other malls liao..haha..
sometimes i wonder how come east side can have two big malls linked together but west side dun hav~ no worries now eh! Woohoo~

**************************************************
saw geokting wif her bf in jp today...
she looked so happy and blessed now..
rong guang huan fa~ so good, love life and studies can balance so well..
she's graduating soon lo.. moving on to uni after poly sia..
so proud of her! ^^
but, me leh?
hais..

Do you know...

2008-12-11T00:12:00.002+08:00

Bisexual is actually a form of cancer.
Just like any form of cancer cells in our body that is awaiting to be outburst and develop.
Therefore, for those who discovered themselves that they are beginning to like people of their own sex, it means the cancer cells inside their body have burst. For those who is still going for opposite sex, the cells inside your body might burst out one day too wor!
SO, we can say that, everyone has a potential to become a bi!
Not joking, it's scientifically proven.
Hmm.. interesting isn't it?
special thanks to Mr.Guk for his valuable information.. =)

The weather is cold~

2008-12-09T00:07:00.002+08:00

Have yourself a merry little christmas... =)

I want. I want. I want want want!

2008-12-07T22:21:00.002+08:00

I...

want to...

spend my holiday wisely...

meet up all my primary sch n secondary sch friends...

go beach on a sunny day! (though it's unlikely to happen in this season..hais~)

visit beeeaautiffull night sceneries in singapore...

have my bank account balance to increase bit by bit every month w/o working... heehee..

get an oven to learn how to bake...

get a laptop IF i can proceed to sem 3...

have a aim in life...

be courageous...

hmm, thats all for now.
will add on when i remember more. =)

刘婆婆说。。。

2008-12-05T22:45:00.007+08:00

前阵子在上网时无意间发现了一个旧同学的博客。
从朋友口中得知她已身为人妇/母后，就对她的生活感到好奇。
毕竟，她才19岁。

其实当我们中学毕业之后，就陆续听到我们学校的某某班同学已结婚了。
再过几天，又听到另某某同学当了爸爸或妈妈了。
是很普遍啦。
可是我会在想，他们在听到自己将要有个小baby时，心情会是怎样的呢？
会因为和爱人有了爱情的结晶而感兴奋吗？
会担忧没那个能力去抚养一个孩子长大吗？
会怕负荷不了养家的重担吗？
会因觉得自己还年轻而蒙起不想负责任的念头吗？
会怕外人、甚至是亲友的闲言闲语吗？

在结婚的前一晚，会想说对方是否就是那对的人？
自己是否能与对方相处一辈子？
能否一起厮守，白头到老？
可以爱他/她到永远吗？

我真的很想知道。。。
在读完旧同学A的日志后，我又有了一种领悟。

有些事，如果不去想或奢求太多的话，日子会比较好过一些。
人，也会活得比较开心。

我想，在爷爷奶奶的年代里，如果在婚前肚子里有了孩子，奉子成婚事唯一的选择。
而在他们的年代来讲，早婚生子是件蛮普遍的事。
对男方而言，婚后就必须扛起养家的重担，要会疼老婆孩子，爱家。
对女方来说，婚后就必须呆在家里，向夫教子，当个贤内助。
那个年代的他们，很传统。
也很简单、单纯。

或许因为他们没念什么书，所以对于人生也没什么抱负。
又或许，那时男强女弱，女方在怀孕时如果不投靠男方的话，在未婚生子的情况下可是会会饱受欺辱的。对于一个女孩子家来讲，这是件见不得光的事。而对于男方来说，男子汉必须敢做敢当，当时的大男人主意也展现了出来。

就这样，即使再怎么辛苦，夫妻俩都能把孩子抚养成人。对于孩子的期许，也只是希望个个都能健健康康的成长。没赚大钱没利没关系，最重要的是有个正当的职业，不游手好闲、变成社会败类就行了。这句话，虽然老套，却是每个父母对孩子最真诚的希望。

而，对于现在奉子成婚的年轻夫妇来讲，当一知道自己即将结婚生子，步入人生的另新一篇章时，心中的担忧会不会比上一辈还来得强呢？现在的青年应该没几个会想要早婚吧？尤其是男生，好玩得要死。。。嘿嘿~

在旧同学A 的博客里，不管是在怀孕中的她，还是待产的她，或是产后的她，文字里，都没有一刻是显露出不开心的。当然，她也有初次怀孕时的不安，和老公吵架时的不愉快，我觉得她还蛮乐在其中的。可能在她的内心深处，会因为不能和朋友一样继续深造而感惋惜。但我想，有个那么可爱又健康的小baby,还有那么疼她的好丈夫，即使身活再多么的苦，她所拥有的幸福家庭给予的爱应该可以填补她人生中的一些些的遗憾吧！

或许，在别人的眼中，这些年轻的daddy, mummy这么早成家似乎很不理智，凭着一张中学文凭就得踏出社会打工赚钱持家，前途已毁了一半。但是，我却还蛮佩服他门的坚强与对于生命的尊重。虽然没有什么了不起的大学文凭，打的也不是什么了不起的白领工作，在我的眼里，他们所经历过的这一切精彩人生，不是每个人都能体验的。他们所拥有的勇气，也不见得你我都能提得起。
简单的生活也可以很快乐、很幸福。只要你能知足。

Freaking Meal! Freaking Expensive!! Freaking Full!!!

2008-11-26T01:57:00.003+08:00

went to this Irodori Japanese Restaurant at River View Hotel to have a small celebration for cecilia's belated birthday..
8 person were there..
was informed that this meal is gonna cost a lot few days ago, so was kinda prepared for this meal already.. -.-
ordered quite a no of dishes... salmon sashimi is SUPER THICK... damn full... jackson wif the 'ikan bilis' ! so funny! haha!!
the service over there is really good! all the waitresses serving us were so nice! kept filling up our glass of tea w/o us asking them to.. we were given clean plates whenever our plates are occupied wif prawn shells and drips of sauces... AND, their complementary dishes is totally delicious!!! ^________^
i did enjoyed myself there cos i get to catch up wif all my secondary sch friends... heehee...
however, when the bill comes...
$45 each.
Oucch.
freaking expensive la!!
hais.. but i told myself, its my best friend's celebration, think of it as a worthy and enjoyable one.. Hmm... so come to think of that its still worthwhile.. cos the food n staff there is really good, i get a chance to spend the valuable time wif old friends... feeling is pretty great.. though the thought of $45 per meal for one person can still make my heart aches whenever i think of it~ -.-
hope to meet up my friends real soon... miss ya! =)

An unhealthy day~

2008-11-20T21:25:00.004+08:00

today's meal was sooo not proper..

BREAKFAST: TUNA BUN

LUNCH: took a cup of ICE-BLENDED MOCHA from sweettalk b4 i take BAN MIAN..
and im allergic to coffee somemore~
took few mouth of BAN MIAN only!!! no appetite.... =(

DINNER: NONG SHIM RAMEN CUP NOODLE..

Y leh~~??!

COS MAMA PAPA & XIAOMEI HAVE GONE TO M'SIA THIS MORNING!!!
will only b back on monday morning...

left me n da mei at home to rot... =(

wanted to cook spaghetti for dinner one... 1st thing is to get ingredients from NTUC... but its so dark n cold outside.. i scared~ =(
haven sweep floor yet, haven mop floor yet, haven wash clothes yet, haven fold dry clothes yet... roar~~~~
i was thinking, wad happened if one day i were to move out (which is unlikely to happen) and take care of myself without my mama?? i tink i'll b damn skinny lo.. lol... no home cooked food !
mama was sick ytd..
kept vomitting last night..
dunno if she's ok now..
hais..
i think papa know wad will happen to me n da mei w/o them??
he bought a few cup noodles to store in kitchen.. haha..

my house is so quiet now..
da mei came back home from proj work at around 7pm and gone to sleep liao..
left me alone here facing the cold cold computer~ o.O

Mr. M got marksman wor..
just gotten last corporal recently oso..
Congrats!! =D

寂寞考

2008-11-20T00:11:00.007+08:00

結束十頁的筆記記不住那一種感覺
桌上煩人的考題怎麼算也都是無解
誰了解我救的了我
空氣裡有個聲音偷偷說你沒有用

你關心我的最近說你也有同樣心情
面對這類的問題我們總是沒有力氣
鐘聲響起怎麼繼續
我跳不出相同邏輯
不斷追著我一整個學期

沒有意外一直重來
也許簡單還是一樣的難
說過的那些話還是不明白
在諜對諜之間徘徊

沒有意外又要重來
只好在圖書館找回一點浪漫
幽默的安慰著我然後笑著說
可能是寂寞它考倒了我

這是意外我好想重來
只好在圖書館找回一點浪漫
幽默的安慰著我然後笑著說
就讓我寂寞考寂寞的過寂寞的過
寂寞它考倒了我
結束十頁的筆記寂寞還在我身邊

***詞曲盧廣仲
say no more...

寂寞考 - 盧廣仲

GoodBye & hello

2008-11-18T23:41:00.008+08:00

yesterday was my last day of work in cookie monkey..
my 1st customer for the day is a gal from cambodia named ling..
last customer is a angmoh boy from dunno wad country, very cute!! dunno how to walk yet still..
his daddy n mummy is young n hot oso~ cool huh..
tried my best to train those new gals as much as i could before i leave le..
hope they can make it..
hais.. i'll miss the children.. =(

new boss came down wif her maid last evening..
surprisingly, she chatted a lot wif me!!
shared wif me her stories.. and erm,ask me to go church oso..
-.-
i see a different side of her yesterday..
was touched by her motherly love too..
mayb she's not that bad afterall..
lin is so blessed to have aunty annie as her mummy..
hope aunty annie's health condition will get better..
im gonna miss the maid oso! she's so nice and funny! =)

their laughter & tears, the screaming and shouting, their sheepish/cheeky smile, their mischiveous/funny faces, the blur/bright looks, hugs and kisses from them... these children brings me joy & happiness.. their smile makes my day whenever i feel tired n reluctant after school w/o fail..
i feel sad to leave my colleagues too..
be it the present staff, rachel, tara, wendy and kai...
or those who have already left, monica,nareeni, yvonne,elisabeth,minghui,andy,abel, kangjie,ummu,celeste,akram,jasmine,sinba, ida, esmond...
they are a bunch of wonderful colleagues to work wif... i've learnt a lot from them..
1 yr 5 months in cookie & monkey has been crazy and enjoyable..
thank you all for making my experience here a memorable one..

i'll never forget the boss and lady boss too.. mr nami & mrs nika!
thank you for all ur guidence and forgivingness!

hope my dear old working partner, tara, can pull through this difficult time...
thank you tara, we can see the hardwork and sacrifices that u've contribute to C&M..
i really appreciate for those things that u've done for us.. its fun workin wif u, now that i have to leave C&M for school, i'll b missing those days when we work during weekends together.. when we talk rubbish together.. when we share jokes and gossips together.. when we have to stand those unreasonable nasty customer's behaviour together..

blazing sun/big droplets of sweat/nasty parents/smelly drain/dirty horsey/heavy thunder rain/bulky poles/slacky securities at the play court/starbucks/carls junior/smell of cigarette & BBQ/OCBC/UOB/POSB/HSBC/BANQUET/seah im market/long john silvers/Fjord/KAPPA/ 7-eleven/staff of MASSAGE TODAY.... i shall bring all these bits and pieces of memories that i've spend in vivo wif me for life.. =)

i mayb coming back to help out if im free though! =D

HELLO to exam!!!!
hais...
dunno wad to say...
i dun hav the confidence to pass again...
mayb im not the material to study..
mayb im jus plain stupid thats all..
mayb i need more time to digest the module..
mayb i shouldnt have come to SIM..
mayb.. mayb..
i dunno wad the future holds...

dumbass..

A day in Kids Lounge...

2008-11-15T01:51:00.011+08:00

I bought a fan for Wendy!
.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

TADAAH!

Cute hor? this is e spoil one.. was so excited when i bought it lo..

den realise the fan cannot be switched off after i've put in the batteries.. sian..

receipt says " ALL GOODS SOLD ARE NOT EXCHANGABLE AND REFUNDABLE" !!!

STILL, i went back to minitoons to try my luck and see if they allow me to change it..

this fan is not cheap lo.. i bought batteries somemore.. SONY batteries leh.. BRANDED ONE AH!! dun play play.. haha..

luckily the person allow me to change it..

SEE!

can on and off one! =D

yea, wendy can use this to cool herself when she work in the zoo le...
WENDY 加油！！！

then wendy bought me this!

never drink before.. but not bad la..

1st time she buy me drink wor! haha..

Before handing him to his new owner....

happily flying all over~

OH! Wait a min! wad is this??! (his 1st time encountering a christmas tree.. sua gu monkey~)

this is jingle tree..

this is jingle star...

这。。。这不就是传说中的.. jingle bell 吗?!!

这是。。。什么？！

yx: this is my statistics lecture notes.. u know mah?!can teach me not?? =D

sua gu monkey: er... erm, no thanks. my math not good eh! paiseh ah!

yx: eh! me too! hais... (落魄)

ah! i saw this when i come for work this afternoon..

think is bought by our new boss..

this is a deer..
.

this is a horse..

LOL!

so funny looking! the deer looks like a horse to me and the horse is a "ba gay" hahaha...

********************************************************************

tml will be a busy day at work...

2nd last day le... sian... cant work wif old colleague tml.. =(

need to train new staff tml...

hope she can tahan this job... =)

Arugh~! exams are coming but why am i still feeling so restless?!!

cannot b like this le!! buck up yixian!

神啊！请点燃我的斗志，给我力量吧！！！

Im counting down...

2008-11-12T15:15:00.006+08:00

woohoo~ today and tml is my off day~ this sunday will be my last day at work in Cookie & Monkey!!!

yea~ no work= more time = more sleep = more revision = more concentration?? = no income! T.T

haiya!

dun think abt the bad! think abt the good!

haha....

On monday....

reached workplace at 1 plus even when i only need to start wrk at 3...

cos Tara msged me say Monica is sacked by our DEAR NEW MANAGER, MR CLEMENCE!

how can he do this???! 死秃头佬。。。

but anyway, good for monica oso, since this baldie is so bad and sacarstic, it's better to leave early...

if not he'll sure to chase after monica every night over the poor sales in suntec..

stupid baldie, been here for merely a week, dare to complain abt the sales...

most irritating fact is, HE HAS NEVER COME DOWN TO SUNTEC FOR ONCE TO TAKE A LOOK AT THE KIND OF CROWD WE GET DURING WEEKDAYS!

keep pinpointing at monica...

come to think of that, monica actually requested to resign sometime ago.. so wasnt sacked!

gonna miss her so much!

Tara told me somemore nasty things that baldie have done...

i am disgusted wif wad i heard...

he's really too much...

to baldie: we ride the horses more than u do.

we push the horses more than u do.

we fix the horses more than u do.

so, pls STOP threatening our staff here, get off ur seat and start to make things work!

Tara sacrifices so much for Cookie Monkey, she DOESN'T DESERVE all these shit.

i tot someone said he's gonna do this n that and help tara to manage the company during the last meeting? But no leh, all we see is him moving his lips, telling our staff off, pushing blame and task to others.. no action is done?

OH~~ Tara told me he's using her as 替死鬼 wor... 高招高招！

这个世界好黑暗，人心好险恶，好恐怖喔~！o.O

Tara is leaving b4 the year ends..

monica is gone..

rachel is leaving in mid dec..

im leaving on this coming sunday, might b going back during holiday to help tara though..

left kai n wendy le...

kai is goin to get sack soon...

wendy! hais, got to stay here for another 1 yr 6 mths b4 she can go back to china...

we'll gonna visit her in zoo after we left! WENDY, 加油!!

This boy from uk gave me this when he's in the lounge ytd lo!!
angmoh boy somemore leh!
give me a shy look when i thanked him wor!! haha.. so funny..
His name is Joshua! 3 years old only!! so sweet hor??!
but of cos, this is from our lounge la.. haha..
没想到我的第一次竟然献给了他！哈哈哈！！！=D

Gonna miss all these kids after i leave Cookie Monkey...
haiz..

MUMMY!!! IT'S OVER!

2008-11-07T12:14:00.003+08:00

Presentation is over... finally~ phew~
I got a B~~ :DDD (typed by TRIXIELIAO) :3
haha.. yea~
da jia xin ku le!
we can at least have time to do our own revision le... T.T
jia you jia you....
hope can pass this sem smoothly.....
hope la.... pls la...

眼睛睁不开~

2008-11-06T01:43:00.003+08:00

我好累啊。。好累啊。。好累好累啊~
累啊累啊累啊累啊累啊累啊累啊累啊累啊！！！！！
i need more time to sleep!!! more time to revise!!!
can i have 48 hrs a day pls...?